When we learned that “the grandfather the world has been waiting to hear from” aka Nadya Suleman’s father, Ed Doud, aka Octo-Grandpa, was going to be on today’s Oprah (followed by an official take on all the controversy from Dr. Oz!), we knew we had to live blog the crap outta it for you. Enter: our intrepid field reporter Brian Underwood, a man who loves Judge Judy more than his own mother and thinks that Angelina Jolie the Octo-Mom is the best thing to happen to daytime TV since Little Ethan fixed that camcorder to reveal all of Gwen and Rebecca’s dastardly deeds in the final episode of Passions.

His juicy (and totally hilarious) report after the jump.

3:54: Full disclosure: I’d usually be getting ready to watch Judge Judy right now (I LOVE her brand of in-your-face justice) but Octo-Mom’s dad is on Oprah today so I had to tune in. In case you haven’t seen the confrontation with Octo-Grandma (sounds like a Spider-Man comic, right) on radaronline.com, here’s a link: http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/02/octomom-lied-about-pregnancy-i-have-a-tumor.php

3:55: I really despise that Nasonex commercial with the Spanish-sounding bee. Seriously, WTF.

4:00: Holy crap, have you seen the pictures of Octo-Mom pregnant? Crazy! Although, I think Kate from John & Kate Plus Eight was bigger.

4:01: Octo-update: The kids are all healthy and doing well, according to Octo-Grandpa. Nadya is OK too. Phew! Maybe she’ll have 45 more babies for U.S. taxpayers to take care of.

4:02: I didn’t realize that the Octo-Grandparents were divorced.

4:04: Octo-Grandpa says that he was against the in-vitro. (PS: Harpo is looking rough today).

4:07: O admits she was P-Oed she didn’t get the exclusive first interview with Octo-Mom even though she says Anne Curry “did a terrific job.” [Editor's note: We were at a Kathy Griffin show on Sunday night and she did an awesome bit about how it takes a really nutty story like this to "blow Anne Curry's mind." So true.]

4:08: Octo-Grandpa says he doesn’t know what food stamps are. O awkwardly explains the concept. Good for him to know since they’ll be feeding his family of 206.

4:13: O asks the question on everyone’s mind: “Do you think your daughter is mentally stable?” Harpo’s diagnosis: Oh, hell no.

4:14: Octo-Grandpa begs us not to punish his daughter who is “not mentally stable.” Asks O to mentally evaluate Nadya. Audience laughs. Social workers everywhere cry.

4:16: Octo-Grandpa says having kids costs a lot of money. Move over Suze Orman.

4:17: Octo-Grandpa didn’t realize that Octo-Grandma hasn’t been making mortgage payments since last May. O tries to coerce Octo-Grandpa into paying the back mortage. He admits he only has $100 in his bank account.

4:22: People from across the country weight in on the sitch. The general consensus: We’re mad as hell.

4:23: Octo-Grandpa says that Nadya couldn’t have kids because there were blockages around her uterus or something. Dr. Oz clarifies. Explains that in spite of these blockages she’s rabbit-style fertile once the eggs get where they need to be.

4:25: Discussion turns to Octo-Dad. Apparently, he’s hot.

4:26: Octo-Grandpa says he “can’t stop his daughter from having kids.”

4:30: After 4th child is born, Octo-Grandpa says he intercepted call from fertility doc saying that Nadya was pregnant again. Says fertility doc said he’d tell Nadya to stoooooooooooooooooopppppppppp.

4:32: Nadya promised Dad she wouldn’t have anymore kids after the first six. LIAR.

4:33: SHUT UP!!! I didn’t know she set up a website where you can donate money to her family. Octo-Grandpa says he doesn’t like to ask for help but “when you have 14 babies you need help.”

4:34: Octo-Grandpa: “If God didn’t want this to happen, he would have destroyed the babies before they were born.” O does not buy it.

4:35: Dr. Oz is up next and he looks ticked.

4:37: Dr. Oz says it’ll cost a few million bucks to get these kids to age 18. To Octo-Grandpa: Get workin’.

4:39: Delving into the childhood now. Octo-Grandpa thinks Nadya really wanted a brother or sister growing up. That’s why she wants her children to have 85.

4:40: O has skypers on the show? I didn’t know menopausal women from High Point, NC knew how to skype.

4:42: Octo-Grandpa says Nadya is a way better mother than his mom was.  Dr. Oz shoots that down by saying “there’s a small chance those kids will grow up normally.” Ouch.

4:45: Robin from Weston, CT is skyping from home: She has an autistic quadruplet. Says it would take Herculean efforts for Octo-Mom to raise her kids properly.

4:47: Kimber (who named her?) from Moses Lake, WA says we “should hold people accountable without holding them in contempt.” We should “choose compassion” and “be agents of change.” Finally, Octo-Mom gets a break. But from a woman named Kimber.

4:48: Dr. Oz nails Octo-Mom for getting a pedicure when she has all those kids at home.

4:51: NYU fertility doc explains fertility guidelines. Says it’s amazing the babies were able to survive but that it was a failure of the system. Thanks Dr. Obvious.

4:53: Dr. Oz says the fundamental failure here was a rational discussion of the issue between Octo-Mom and her doc. The other fundamental failure: Octo-Mom’s lip work. She looks like the Joker.

4:56: Octo-Grandpa is a survivor, he says. At 67, he says he needs to provide and protect his family. I kinda feel bad for the guy.

4:57: O asks Octo-Grandpa what his biggest hope is. Says he wants babies to be happy and healthy and for his daughter to get off her a** and support her kids. Amen brother.