Janet Jackson’s “Wardrobe Malfunction” Incident Finally Resolved

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Remember that time when Justin Timberlake accidentally exposed Janet Jackson’s boob at the Super Bowl? Well, that happened nearly eight years ago, back when JT was actually still making music. (Note to JT: More music, please!) Incredibly, the legal imbroglio that grew out this tremendously important event has just now been resolved. As Reuters reports, the 3rd US Circuit Court of Appeals in Philadelphia has ruled against the FCC’s decision to fine CBS $550,000 for the split-second incident, noting that the agency “arbitrarily and capriciously” imposed a penalty that flew in the face of a policy stating that “fleeting” instances of non-compliance with standards would not be punished.

You’d think that, with so much time between Nipplegate and the judges’ decision, conservative watchdog groups would have moved on to newer outrages. Not so, it turns out. The Parents Television Council — who you might remember from their massive and unwarranted Skins flip-out — have issued a fiery response. PTC President Tim Winter calls the ruling a “sucker-punch to families everywhere” and, hilariously, refers to the original incident as a “Janet Jackson striptease.” Winter sincerely hopes that the Supreme Court will “include this outrageous Circuit Court opinion in its judicial review of the broadcast decency law.” Because, clearly, eight years spent sorting out a microsecond of televised toplessness was not enough.