Stanley Kubrick has a reputation for being an exacting, somewhat obsessive perfectionist. But — as films like Dr. Strangelove and even A Clockwork Orange prove — he also had a pretty sharp sense of humor. Lists of Note has dug into his former assistant Tony Frewin’s book, The Stanley Kubrick Archives, and shared some hilarious excerpts from Kubrick and Frewin’s jokey running list of “Titles in search of a script.” See 25 funny ideas that — probably thankfully — never got made after the jump, and visit Lists of Note to read Frewin’s descriptions of them.

I Married and Armenian
If Only the Führer Knew!
Hot Sheets
Leg Candy
Leg Magic
Feel Tight
Partition Magic
Only Ministers of the Third Reich May Use Green Ink
Coffin Not Included
Dr. Strange-Glove
Osmiroid and Oblivion
Other Barrels, Other Nibs
Twig the Enhancer
Nightclubs, Morgues, Hospitals
In the Penile Colony
One Bag, One Notebook
The Wizard of Auschwitz
Auschwitz and Me!
Sharp Shadow on the Wall
The Two Wallys
Sight Gags for Perverts
Some Like It Cold
Jack the Sniffer
Speaking Alarms
Kira the Karaoke Girl