Steven Tyler Is Leaving ‘American Idol’

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Well, that was fast. After just two years of acting as a judge on American Idol, word is quickly spreading that Steven Tyler has decided to give up the gig. “After some long… hard… thoughts… I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress American Idol before she boils my rabbit,” he said in a statement. “I strayed from my first love, AEROSMITH, and I’m back — but instead of begging on my hands and knees, I’ve got two fists in the air and I’m kicking the door open with my band… IDOL was over-the-top fun, and I loved every minute of it… Now it’s time to bring Rock Back. ERMAHGERD.”

With Jennifer Lopez also reportedly eying an exit from the singing competition — no official announcement has been made, but in a recent interview she seemed convinced, explaining, “I’ve just enjoyed it so much, but I am thinking that maybe it’s time for me to go and do other things that I really love to do, like films” — that will leave poor Randy Jackson all by his lonesome when the next season starts in September. Sorry, dawg. Any ideas on who should join him at the judges’ table?