He’s Just Not That Into and How to Talk to Girls. They’re both advice books about relationships targeted at lonely hearts, and as of yesterday, they’re both upcoming movies.

In one corner you’ve got an ensemble cast that includes almost every eligible actor in their 20s and 30s (Seriously. From Drew Barrymore to that guy who played Rickie on My So-Called Life.); in the other you’ve got a precocious 9-year-old boy who hangs out in bars with no writers or producers attached.

What we’re wondering is: