John Mayer’s new interview from the March 2010 issue of Playboy is online, and it’s already creating buzz. In it he talks about being in love with Jennifer Aniston, being in lust with Jessica Simpson (“Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.”), and being totally uncomfortable with his reputation as a douche bag.
We’d diagnose his problem as a lack of internal filter. While a few of his one-liners made us laugh out loud (“If Jennifer Aniston knows how to use BitTorrent I’ll eat my fucking shoe.”), a lot of what he had to say is pretty offensive/crazy/self-indulgent. We’ve rounded up the playboy’s 10 most groan-inducing, mostly NSFW moments from the interview after the jump so you don’t actually have to read the entire thing yourself. Plus, standalone quotes about vaginas are always funnier.
1. “I could have fucked a lot more girls in my life if I hadn’t been trying so hard to get them to like me. If I have a conversation with a really hot girl that lasts all night and she says, ‘Wow, I had no idea I was going to like you this much,’ that is the equivalent, for me, of getting laid.”
2. “I hate being the heartbreaker. Hate it. If I date somebody and it doesn’t work out, it’s another nightmare for me.”
3. “If I was playing it so I could meet hot chicks, I’ve met hot chicks, quote unquote. If I was playing it to make a ton of money, I’ve made a ton of money. If I was playing it to be well-known, I am well-known.”
4. “There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed.”
5. “My biggest dream is to write pornography.”
6. [In response to "Masturbation for you is as good as sex?"] “Absolutely, because during sex, I’m just going to run a filmstrip. I’m still masturbating. That’s what you do when you’re 30, 31, 32.”
7. “I feel like women are getting their comeuppance against men now. I hear about man-whores more than I hear about whores. When women are whorish, they’re owning their sexuality. When men are whorish, they’re disgusting beasts.”
8. “I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.”
9. “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”
10. “I’ll get a Washlet when I finally find a shitter I’m going to be at for a good block of time in my life.”
Comments (22)
i have an official man crush after reading this.
I have an official womanhate after reading this.
codyrpaquette, there is no such thing as a man crush. You are a homo. It’s ok. Just own it!
It’s the first honest celebrity interview. No one tolerates honesty anymore, which only breeds more dishonesty.
quote:
d • February 10th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
“codyrpaquette, there is no such thing as a man crush. You are a homo…”
LMAO!!!! hahahaha!!!! DEATH!!!!
I really didn’t care much for John Mayer or at least I was ambivalent before reading these quotes. Now I just find him repulsive. Never dig his music, either. Yawn!
As someone who says stupid shit, I hereby express my relief at having failed to achieve celebrity. I can just experience the wrath of those who know me, rather than that of everyone on earth. It’s better that way, even though I get no money and very little, uh, napalm.
While he can be a bit abrasive at times he is still considered in the music world as being one of the last remaining guitar slingers. He will go down in history as one of the greatest of all time.
That’s the trouble with being a famous celebrity musician. After getting used to having sex with 300 women a day, why would a monagamous relationship have any attraction ? John may never understand what he’s missed out on. Many of these women dream about settling down and having a family with him, but it’s not on his radar, so he won’t understand the joy and peace that comes with having a family.
bob cat:
just to clarify- the “300 vaginas” refers to porn, not actual women. you’d know if you’d actually read the whole article.
i feel bad for him. all these out-of-context snippets of the interview are floating around the internet making him seem like a bigger douche than he probably really it. read the whole interview. it’s pretty entertaining.
too bad his music sucks
I don’t like his music. I don’t think he is attractive.
To me he has always looked like a walking advertisement for VD.
I can see him hawking herpes medicine.
Your body is a wonderland? Only if your white?
according to his David Duke c*ck.
I can’t stand this guy. He is an emotional infant with too much money, an over rated talent and an inflated ego with no mouth filter.
I am a heterosexual white female. And I find him repugnant.
I’m a black woman who did like his music; yet feel his supremacist attitude controls more than just his “David Duke”. What’s in the heart will come out of the mouth. Unfortunately, for the most, what came out was a lot of trash. Now, I realize I won’t enjoy listening to him anymore.
I didn’t read the article, but from the snippets I don’t really know what he is talking about or what he is trying to say. Furthermore, I don’t think he does either. Can someone enlighten me? Quite frankly he comes off as someone who is not very intelligent but is trying to sound clever and failing miserably.
perfect candidate for a mundane pointless drug overdose
He IS a guitar slinger. There is no doubt about that. Listen to “Perfectly Lonely” once or twice. That’s musical napalm.
Question is, what came first, him being a douche bag, or has all the adoration and crazy attention made him come out the fame machine like this?
I think it’s more of the latter.
We (America) must have our Idols, and we “expect” a certain level of recklessness out of them.
john mayer is cute and he can sing so he is famous. oh and the guitar. it all went to his head. i’d like to fuck him but he is an asshole deep down. it’s too bad.
Wow. Just wow. I think I am now officially disgusted with him. And at “D,” haha!! ;)
I wouldn’t call him a douche haha… i dont think he tells a ton of people off or acts like an asshole to everyone. He’s obsessed with sex though. But 100% of guys are.
Give him a break
John Mayer is the man. Who cares what ppl say about him. I personally agree with everything he says! John Mayer you rock! Jerking off at the age of 30! AMERICA! Keep rocking man, KEEP ROCKING IT!
i stopped believing it was true when i read the one where he talked about writing pornography, because lets face it, if he was as arrogant as they were making him out to be (which i don’t think he is) he wouldn’t have the stupidity to tell an interviewer that because it would blow up in his face
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