This weekend marked the ninth edition of Bonnaroo, a festival that’s as good for people-watching as it is for band-watching. Roughly 150,000 glow stick-wielding folks descended on a sleepy farm in Manchester to, like, totally get stoked for Dave Matthews and wander around in rain boots and bikinis. And oh, the sights! We saw a balding dreadlocked man. We saw a guy with a loincloth made of an empty case of Natty Light. We saw a group of people watching They Might Be Giants while wearing Viking costumes. We saw people longing for the relative cleanliness of a gas station bathroom. And, of course, we saw bros.
While Bonnaroo is traditionally known for hippies — and there were plenty of them there too — this year’s headliners read like every frat dude’s ultimate panty-dropping party playlist: Jay-Z, Weezer, Zac Brown Band, Kings of Leon, Michael Franti & Spearhead, Kid Cudi, and, obviously, that King of All Bros, Dave Matthews (“If you don’t like ‘Crash,’ you have no heart, man,” as one bro said to me). Your intrepid Flavorwire correspondent set out to compile a taxonomy of bros in their native environment. Below the jump: Browatch 2010.
Brotentials
These are not yet full-on bros, but do show burgeoning hints of brodom: Note the purple crocs and cut-off khaki shorts, as well as the CamelBak backpack. This particular example was watching Umphrey’s McGee, a hint of brodom to come, but perhaps also just a healthy ironic appreciation for jam bands. Only time will tell whether those with brotential will blossom into full-on bros. Signs include: more camouflage than necessary, questionable footwear, tendency to wear cheap sunglasses given out by sororities.
Comments (13)
That last dude would definitely beat up classic bro Hurley, if they were both survivors of the Broceanic flight 815 tragedy.
Where does the bro I saw at weezer fit in, the one carrying his yellow ‘stache flag and his bro groupies following him and videoing? Forget weezer, this was the hipster bro show.
somebody hand me an ice!
[...] Bro-Getters, the Broletariat and the Brogeousie. It’s all here. Expand your mind and break out the glowsticks, [...]
horrible, horrible writing.
hilarious. and @urabro: uradumbass.
i fancy that guy
[...] people longing for the relative cleanliness of a gas station bathroom. And, of course, we saw bros. Read more… Share/Bookmark var a2a_config = a2a_config || {}; a2a_config.linkname="Bros @ Bonnaroo"; [...]
Wintersox has become a grass roots hero for a new generation of bros. The new breed like to get high and talk about the art of Wintersox like they do Animal House and Bob Marley.
For those of you who don’t bro, Wintersox is a rock and roll artist who has made the best art and rock and roll. Some of his pictures have things that are too amazing to describe, orbs, elves, spirits, whoa.
The art is really big in Europe. Like every bro party, not everyone is told where the party is or invited. All the bros are there because they use information and technology like brodar.
Wintersox will be the biggest artist in a year or 10, who knows. But when that happens, a bunch of bros are gonna have the bragging rights that they were there. It isn’t that bros are better, they just know how to network and be at the right bro place at the right bro time.
You know, the bros knew about Dave Matthews. They knew about Smashing Pumpkins. They knew about The Shins. To the victor go the bros.
Peace
Also, the taze me/don’t taze me bro.
love the bronouns!
[...] And if you don’t win (but we know you will), don’t cry the hardcore tears, because a four-day pass to Northside is just $40 (20 percent off) with this handy promo code, courtesy of our brokester-in-arms the skint. Northside just might be the best bang for your buck out of all the summer festivals, with four days of music from over one hundred bands, art installations and even a film festival all taking place in Greenpoint and Williamsburg. And unlike some other festivals that take resorting to creative income to afford, you won’t be paying for the privilege of getting groped by some hedge fund stooge who’s psyched to see the Dave Mathews Band, brah. [...]
[...] Matthew Band, and Creed. We think it sounds like it would attract the same kind of crowd we spotted last summer at Bonnaroo. Click through to get a better look and a good [...]
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