The good-hearted, good-for-nothing Billy Riggins lies supine in squalor, clad in day-old briefs and surrounded by empty beers. A lone playing card is stuck to his back. Mindy has broken off their engagement. Billy doesn’t want to talk about it.
Tammy Taylor, looking fresh as ever, has turned the page on another year. She doesn’t want a birthday party.
Big Game this week against Arnett Mead, who they seem to have played five times already this season. This one’s special because it’ll be shown on national television. An NBC truck pulls into school, how meta is that? Coach isn’t pleased: this is an unnecessary distraction. Cue Alice In Chains.
Jason Street must have seen Jerry Maguire too many times — Tom Cruise strutting, screaming, “Show me the Money!”; Renee Zellweger’s pre-Bridget Jones bod; that kid with the cute glasses — because he’s heading to the Big Apple to become a sports agent. Along for the ride? Tim Riggins of course. The duo maneuvers the rough terrain of Manhattan with typical Texas flair. Too bad cabbies aren’t friendly and wheelchair access sucks. They enter Paul Stuart after accosting an on-the-go businessman about his sartorial preferences. The suits — un-shockingly — are expensive. Luckily, New York is filled with street-side immigrants selling under-priced menswear.
Dillon International Airport, Gate 4: Arriving: Lila Garrity’s long-forgotten siblings. In Season 2 they left to live with Lila’s mom and her vegan, hippy boyfriend. Now they return, liberal-er than thou, much to the chagrin of one Buddy Garrity. The boy even prefers soccer to football. Uh-oh.
Coach and Tami dine at the McCoy McMansion. Coach is not pleased. Mr. McCoy continues his creepiness.
Guess who wants to go to college? Tim Riggins. Guess who is trying to help? Billy Riggins; this does not bode well. Billy asks Jason Street for advice. Street suggests they put together a Riggins highlight reel. Meanwhile, they’ve finished restoring the old Garrity place. Next step: selling it. No one can agree on the price.
Q: What does Panther Freshman Quarterback J.D. McCoy have in common with Sharon Stone, star of the naught-awaited sequel Basic Instinct 2?
A: Both look their age while nude.
It’s time for the freshman naked mile. Riggins — throned on the tailgate of a pickup — swigs beer and smirks upon his un-uniformed underlings. McCoy, visible from the waist up, looks like the fifteen year-old that he is: nervous and hairless. As QB1, they make him run all the way to the field house. There he encounters coach Taylor, who gazes pitiably upon the skinny specimen of a quarterback. McCoy covers himself with an old team photo. “Please don’t tell my dad.”
Friday night, and the lights are bright, shining like malevolent suns on our two young quarterbacks. Coach Taylor — rent divided by loyalties — has decided to platoon Saracen and J.D in this week’s game. The strategy fails until J.D. proves himself the real McCoy by tossing a few spirals that fall like manna into Tim Riggins’ waiting arms. Ultimately, Saracen wins the game with a last second touchdown, but it’s McCoy whom the team hoists on their shoulders. Saracen limps from the field like a war-torn soldier returning from battle; his victory is studded with loss.
Back at the Taylor house, Julie shows off her new tattoo, a rose-filled heart. The Taylors aren’t pleased. Duh.
[Editor's note: Readers, you have spoken. And you want us to lose our recapping virginity with Friday Night Lights. Jocks. Tomorrow, look for a recap of last week's episode from our new TV blogger, Adam Wilson. Woot woot! To help you catch up (and to ruin things for those of you still working on the first two seasons on DVD), he has written a short synopsis of what's gone down in Dillon so far this year. Let us know what you think in the comments.]
Previously on Friday Night Lights…
In the immortal words of the all too mortal Notorious B.I.G, “Things Done Changed.” When last we left Dillon, Texas, the sun had set on another season of Panther football, and life was loaded with complexity and strife for the stubbled heroes and well-coiffed heroines of Friday Night Lights.
