Drop everything, readers, because Funny or Die has just posted a video called “Muppets vs. Goldman Sachs.” And guess what? It’s even better than it sounds. First of all, it features none other than Kyle MacLachlan as a Goldman exec. Then there’s the dude who snorts coke off the meeting table. But the real fun comes when the Anti-Muppet Defamation League bursts in, inspired by Greg Smith’s revelation that the firm calls their clients “muppets,” to Occupy Wall Street extract their revenge. Some surprisingly highfalutin economic debate ensues. It’s the best Muppet takedown since they destroyed Fox News. Watch it after the jump.

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We haven’t heard much about Jack Black and Kyle Gass’s mock rock band/sketch comedy act Tenacious D since 2008, when their forgettable film, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, came out to lukewarm reviews. Which, we admit, we weren’t too torn up about — we have mixed feelings about the whole ironic project, though we tend to enjoy Jack Black. Regardless, the pair have just released a short film announcing (and faux-documenting) their return, complete with cameos by Val Kilmer and Woody Harrelson and a coaching montage presided over by Josh Groban (vocals, cement block breaking) and Dave Grohl (guitar, ballroom dancing) — and after watching it, we found ourselves just a little bit glad to have them back in the mix. If only so we can see Val Kilmer in more stuff. Click through to watch the video, and let us know if you’re excited for this musical turn of events in the comments.

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Back in 1737, Benjamin Franklin published The Drinker’s Dictionary, a very long list of euphemisms for drunk that he “gather’d wholly from the modern Tavern-Conversation of Tiplers,” in The Pennsylvania Gazette. In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, some dude in Chicago decided to dress up like the famed Founding Father, and recite all of the various descriptions for you — which takes a full six minutes. While he’s not quite as believable as the Ben Franklin impersonator who performed at Phyllis’ bachelorette party on The Office, he gets the job done. Click through to check out the hilarious clip, and let us know which synonym gets your vote in the comments. Personally, we’d like to see “His Head is full of Bees” and “Got on his little Hat” experience a resurgence.

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This afternoon, Aziz Ansari was “randomly” sitting next to Amy Poehler on an airplane, watching her watch the BBC’s Sherlock Holmes. But, thanks to the ceaseless wonders of this WiFi-empowered era, he was also live on Reddit, doing an AMA. The interview came just after the release of his Dangerously Delicious comedy special, which you can download for five bucks on his website, and both cement his status as one of the Internet’s favorite comedians. While the entire AMA is pretty entertaining, there’s a lot of randomness to pick through, and as of the time this post was filed, it was still going — so we’ve sifted out some of his best responses on everything from comedians he loves to his favorite music to the future of Raaaaaaandy.

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Poor Jonah Hill. It seems like anyone wants to talk about when he comes up these days is the fact there’s suddenly a lot less of him. We still cringe when we recall Billy Crystal serenading him with “if you lose, I think that you should know, that there’s cupcakes after the show,” at the Oscars. Anyway, if you’re like us, then you’ll be happy that there’s no mention of Hill’s weight loss in the promos for his upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, just some effortless back and forth with his Superbad co-star Bill Hader. This should be a nice palate cleanser after Ms. Lohan’s painful struggle with the cue cards last week, right? We’ve got but one request: please let there be a sketch where Taran Killam gets to break out his killer Michael Cera impression.

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If you’ve turned on the TV in the past few months, chances are you’ve seen the worst iPhone commercial of all time. You know, the one where a cocky teenage wannabe realizes his garage-rocker dreams, all thanks to the solicitous assistance of Siri. At the end, he instructs the phone to call him “Rock God,” and she obliges. The whole thing is so awkward and sad that it’s actually kind of difficult to explain what’s infuriating about it (although it probably has something to do with an entitled 15-year-old boy having access to a female voice that will do whatever he wants).

Thankfully, the smart folks at Funny or Die have “fixed” the ad — subbing in the kind of responses the kid deserves to get. “I gotta get a guitar,” he tells Siri. “I’m sorry. Did you mean ‘a haircut’?” she replies. Watch the most urgently necessary ad parody you’ll see all year after the jump.

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Comedy Central has announced the nominees for their 2012 Comedy Awards, and we have to admit, we find their choices just a little bit baffling. Oh, don’t worry — you’ve got your Bridesmaids and your Midnight in Paris. The Artist is all over the place. But the snubs are pretty shocking: Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody’s Young Adult, which critics loved, didn’t score a single nomination. Even poor Charlize Theron’s acclaimed performance in the movie was overlooked in favor of Cameron Diaz, who got a nod for freaking Bad Teacher. Meanwhile, Horrible Bosses got so many nominations (including Best Comedy) you’d think it was a lost Charlie Chaplin film.

The TV list is similarly confusing. Look, we love 30 Rock, too, but let’s acknowledge that its reign is ending. And while it’s nice to see Parks and Recreation finally getting the recognition it deserves, there’s another Thursday-night NBC comedy that’s surpassed Tina Fey’s show in consistent comedic brilliance: Community, which didn’t get a single nomination. Seriously? In a year when Saturday Night Live is among the nominees in the writing category, no one thought Dan Harmon and co. were ripe for a shout out? Also conspicuously absent: Conan was passed over in the late-night bracket in favor of both Jimmy Fallon and David Letterman. Could O’Brien’s industry-darling status be wearing off?

If you’re as underwhelmed by these nominations as we are, you can blame the panel of insiders who make up the Comedy Awards Board of Directors — which includes, among others, Carol Burnett, Stephen Colbert, O’Brien, Joan Rivers, Chris Rock, Ray Romano, Jon Stewart, and Lily Tomlin. Meanwhile, if you’re still interested in watching the awards, the ceremony will be held April 28th and is scheduled to air on Comedy Central May 6th. The entire list of nominees is after the jump.

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“There’s nothing children want more than to cast of the shackles of oppressive gender politics,” says Lady Gaga in a commercial for her Mighty Morphin Power Gender Dolls — Barbie-like creatures that kids can assemble themselves, sticking male and female parts together in a schoolyard rebellion against the binary. While we wouldn’t be surprised to see Gaga actually market such a product, the ad is a skit taken from comedian Stevie Ryan’s new VH1 sketch show, Stevie TV. Ryan plays the pop star with recognizable stiffness and severity, and even manages to get in a Madonna-ripoff joke. This first look has us excited to see what else is in store on the show, which premieres this Sunday, March 4th at 11pm. If you still need convincing, check out some more of Ryan’s impressions — of everyone from Zooey Deschanel to Justin Bieber — in this promo.

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“Oral contraception is bad, plain and simple,” deadpans Nick Offerman. “Why? Because I don’t understand how it works and science scares me.” That’s just one of the laugh out loud moments in this hilarious new Funny or Die video that also stars Judd Nelson, Tim Meadows, and Ray Wise — a group of middle-aged men who are self-proclaimed experts on women’s reproductive health. If the recent political debate over birth control coverage in Congress has left you wanting to rip your hair out, we think you’ll find this clip incredibly cathartic, if a little too true to life. Plus, you get to see Offerman say “pudenda” with a straight face, while totally losing it over “vaginas”. It doesn’t get much better than that, folks.

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From the Golden Globes to the Emmys to the Grammys to the Oscars, awards ceremonies offer no shortage of drunk, rambling acceptance speeches. But even the most intoxicated presenters, for the most part, at least attempt to stick to the script they’ve been given. This year’s shining exception is novelist and Bored to Death creator Jonathan Ames, who had quite a bit of Prosecco at Saturday’s Writers Guild Awards and spent a delightful six minutes freestyling about effeminate audience members, the inevitable triumph of Modern Family, the unavoidable failure of Bored to Death, Jews in general (he is one), and even the suggested pronunciations provided by the ceremony’s writers.

Oh, and don’t make the mistake of stopping the video when Ames cedes the stage to the award winners — he’s back soon after, with some even better material, including the story of the first time he ever got stoned. The video, unfortunately, includes no shots of the audience, but we’re hoping he got a standing ovation.

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