As loyal Lou Reed fans, we’re used to having him throw us for a loop regularly — his entire mid-’70s oeuvre is basically one big mind fuck, and it’s anyone’s guess as to how tongue-in-cheek the intentions behind many of his silliest post-Velvet Underground lyrics were. But his collaboration with Metallica crossed over from provocative to embarrassing around the time we heard the first single, “The View.” Now, Old Uncle Lou has humiliated his admirers yet again with the trailer for the album, Lulu. The clip consists mostly of an interview with Reed, Lars Ulrich, and James Hetfield that might as well be a Saturday Night Live parody of the project. Ulrich admits, “We don’t really know where it’s going,” and Hetfield declares, ”We got to stamp ‘tallica on it!” Finally, Reed opines, “It pushed me to the best I’ve ever been.” Oh, Lou. Once again, we can’t tell whether you’re joking or just batty.

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1. A surprising new twist in the ever-continuing Netflix saga: Dreamworks has decided to ditch its current deal with HBO and offer the streaming service the exclusive rights to its output, at about $30 million per movie — a $10 million increase in revenue. [via NYT]

2. Goodnight, sweet prince: Arch West, the Frito-Lay executive who invented Doritos back in the early ’60s, died last week in Dallas at the ripe old age of 97; according to his daughter, the family plans on “tossing Doritos chips in before they put the dirt over the urn.” [via The Daily Beast]

3. Here is your first look at Luck, the Michael Mann horse-racing drama that stars Dustin Hoffman and Nick Nolte and is set to air on HBO some time in January. Thoughts?

4. Lou Reed and Metallica have debuted the first full track off of their forthcoming collaboration album, Lulu, which is due out on November 1. Listen to “The View” here.

5. The world we live in: Can you believe that Dolphin Tale nearly beat Moneyball at the weekend box office — and that neither film could match the $22.1 million haul by The Lion King 3D? [via Vulture]

Bonus Buzz: A Visual History of Literary References on ‘The Simpsons’

1. Here is your first look at the artwork for Lulu, that joint album by Lou Reed and Metallica. The collaboration, which is based on a 1913 play by Frank Wedekind about the life of an abused dancer, is due out in the US on November 1.

2. As the new pricing structure for Netflix goes into effect today, here’s something to mull over: Starz, which provides a large portion of its streaming catalogue, plans to remove its content from the site when its existing contract expires next February. [via Slashfilm]

3. Well, that was quick: T.I. is already back in federal custody, and it seems to have something to do with the luxury bus that he used to travel from Arkansas to his halfway house in Atlanta. We’re wondering how this will affect that planned VH1 reality series… [via NYDN]

4. James Gandolfini is returning to HBO with a new show called Big Dead Place, which is based on Nicholas Johnson’s memoir about his experiences working for the US Antarctic Program. Breaking Bad‘s Peter Gould will write the series, and word is that Gandolfini, who will executive produce, might step in front of the camera as well. [via Vulture]

5. Justin Long has signed on to play Zooey Deschanel’s love interest in a three-episode story arc on her new Fox comedy The New Girl. No offense to Ben Gibbard, but we could actually picture these two together — being all kinds of adorable and twee — in real life. [via EW]

Bonus Buzz: 25 Inane Zooeyisms

Regular readers of Flavorpill will no doubt have noticed that we are suckers for anything typography-related, so it’s really only been a matter of time until we found a way to combine our typographic geekdom with our love for music. And, indeed, the two fields aren’t as disconnected as one might think at first glance — there’ve been a number of interesting design- and typography-based trends in music over the decades since bands started putting out albums that needed accompanying artwork and lettering. After the jump, we give you a potted history of ten of music’s most interesting typographic movements and moments. Did we miss anything?

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1. The Daily reports that Dave Chappelle — who walked away from a $50 million Comedy Central deal back in 2005 — is working on a new TV show that will be for a paid subscription service.

2. After performing a crowd-pleasing duet of “Sweet Jane” at a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event back in 2009, Metallica and Lou Reed are currently collaborating on a new full-length album that’s already 90 percent done. Says Reed, who is writing all 10 of the tracks: “They’re bringing Metallica, with all that power. And because they’re pretty sophisticated, wherever I go, they’re still with me.” [via TwentyFourBit]

3. Attention Muggles: J.K. Rowling is launching a new website called Pottermore.com. According to a report from one Harry Potter fansite that was granted a preview, “it is one of the most amazing, engaging, and breathtaking additions to this fandom imaginable.” [via WSJ]

4. No doubt hoping to create some Sex and the City-style magic for a slightly older demo, Darren Starr and Goldie Hawn are teaming up for a new HBO series based on The Viagra Diaries, a novel about “a woman, who, after her husband has a ‘mid-life crisis’ at 65 and leaves her, struggles with being single for the first time in 35 years.” [via THR]

5. Thanks to the fact that Robin Williams named his daughter Zelda after a video game character, they’re both starring in a new commercial for Nintendo. Watch it here.

Bonus link: MAD Magazine: A Semi-Secret History

The multifarious bell is certainly tolling for Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich these days. Ulrich, last seen playing himself in a cameo role in Get Him to the Greek, has been cast in an HBO drama entitled Hemingway and Gellhorn, a film, unsurprisingly, about “the romance between Ernest Hemingway and WWII correspondent Martha Gellhorn, Hemingway’s inspiration for ”For Whom The Bell Tolls” and the only woman who ever asked for a divorce from the writer.” The film, now shooting in San Francisco, stars Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman in the two eponymous roles, with Ulrich playing Dutch documentary filmmaker Joris Ivens. We always pegged Nicole Kidman for a Metallica fan. [via Vol. 1 Brooklyn via Blabbermouth]

By all indications, Valentine’s Day is the least metal holiday possible. You’re reveling in all the icy, cavernous gloom of mid-winter and then BOOM: frilly pink hearts and stuffed puppies everywhere. It’s enough to make you want to tear shit up, even more than usual. But chin up, metalheads: St. Valentine himself was martyred in a totally gruesome manner (beheading!), and the original pagan holiday Lupercalia, pre-heart-shaped cards and overpriced prix fixe dinners, was partially in honor of the she-wolf that suckled Romulus and Remus, founders of Rome. Wolves, goats, and revelry? Maybe Valentine’s Day can be metal after all. Click through for our guide to celebrating V-day the metal way.

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If you happen to be a chemistry nerd and a metalhead — and believe us, there’s quite an overlap — it’s tempting to think about metal music as actual different kinds of metal. Iron Maiden would obviously be ferrous — but what metal is Metallica, exactly? Would Foghat be inert? Luckily, the folks over at Roadside Jesus have compiled this periodic table of rockin’, complete with explanations for each element.

Poison, for example, falls into the “Poor Metals” category because, “My friend, I have heard that if one is bitten on the ass, another may have to suck the poison out. This band is all about the sucking and the asses, yet somehow, the Poison remains, always asking to be talked dirty to.” Though we dispute his characterization of Neil Young as “transitional metal,” it’s still a pretty well-thought out table. Check out more tidbits at Roadside Jesus’s site.

Rootsy California singer/songwriter Lissie caught the public ear with her heartfelt covers of Lady Gaga, Kid Cudi, and Metallica, but her debut album shows she’s just as captivating with her own songs.

Catching a Tiger features a lively blend of rock, country, and classic pop, often reminiscent of Stevie Nicks-fronted Fleetwood Mac, and always anchored by Lissie’s stunningly soulful vocals. The sensibilities are retro, to be sure, equally mining ’70s and ’80s West Coast tropes — but always with enough sincerity to leave little doubt about Lissie’s earth-bound authenticity.

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Last week Tom Morello, formerly of Rage Against the Machine, and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails joined Pearl Jam, the Roots, R.E.M., and others in support of a new campaign pressuring US politicians to close the Guantánamo Bay. Why are so many musicians joining the movement? According to previously declassified reports, interrogators have used Metallica, Britney Spears, and even Sesame Street to torture detainees in the past. Many artists are outraged that their music may have been used without their consent, and want the practice stopped immediately.

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