Today at Flavorpill, we enjoyed Nerve’s roundup of five bands named after Smiths songs — in order of their Smithiness, of course. We wondered what was motivating these women struggling to drink water. We watched four seasons’ worth of Tom Haverford’s absurd pickup lines on Parks and Recreation. We found it hard to believe that Ricky Gervais may be hosting this year’s Golden Globes — despite what a fancy dinner with NBC and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association might suggest. We were surprised to learn that Twister could have been called King’s Footsie or Pretzel. We met the guys who write the taglines for TV and movie posters. We discovered that the first prank call probably happened way back in 1884. And finally, we really, really wished that someone would make this Daria sweater a reality. We’d wear it to work everyday, like a uniform!

1. Should you care to spend your morning listening to the full version of the Lou Reed and Metallica collaboration album Lulu before its official release on November 1, it’s now streaming at their official website. [via NME]

2. Justin Timberlake has a new music video you guys! Before you get too excited, you should know this: It’s actually for a new song from a rock/hip-hop band called FreeSol, whose album Timberlake produced. But still, here he is rapping! [via Vulture]

3. Warner Bros. has officially given the green light to a live action remake of Akira which will be helmed by Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan, Unknown, House of Wax). According to reports Garrett Hedlund (TRON: Legacy) is the front runner for the starring role of Kaneda, the head of the biker gang. [via Slashfilm]

4. Ricky Gervais is in trouble again, this time for frequent use of the word “mong” (a shortening of “mongoloid”) on his Twitter. “I have explained, even during stand-up shows, that the meaning of words changes over time,” he explains. “Gay, for example, would never be used to mean happy any more. The modern use of the word mong means ‘dopey’ or ‘ignorant.’” [via Gawker]

5. Sad news for fans of the Impressionists: A strike by security workers protesting staff cuts at Paris’ Musée d’Orsay has postponed the long-awaited reopening of the museum’s newly revamped galleries, which have been closed for the past 18 months. [via ArtsBeat]

Bonus Buzz: 5 Traditions That Probably Constitute As Animal Abuse

In case you hadn’t noticed, Ricky Gervais quit Twitter way back in January, saying he didn’t see the point, which is fair. But a few days ago, he snuck back onto the site, at first sending out a plaintive “Hello. Anybody there?” before graduating to a few tweets promoting his projects An Idiot Abroad and Life’s Too Short, along with asserting his verity as the official Ricky Gervais. Not overly interesting, but since then, he’s really hit his Twitter-stride, tweeting what looks like pictures of whatever he can think to take pictures of in his apartment (read: his own face in various states of duress, his cat), including this photograph, which he posted along with the missive: “To protect Warwick from scary mice, me and Johhny Depp put him safely in the toilet. Anything for a friend.” Warwick, it should be noted, is Gervais’s costar on Life’s Too Short, which — mission accomplished — we kind of want to watch now. After all, if this is what it’s like to hang out with Ricky Gervais, well, at least it doesn’t look boring.
[via BlackBook]

Hey, Flavorwire readers, did you watch the Emmys last night? There were a few great moments — when Friday Night Lights finally won a few awards, for example — and a few too many jokes that fell flat (why get Jane Lynch to host when you’re only going to let her get in one great zinger about how Entourage explains why she’s a lesbian?). The prevailing mood of the night, however, was neither triumph nor disappointment; it was extreme awkwardness. Relive the mortification and confusion with us as we enumerate the night’s most uncomfortable moments after the jump.

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While the 2012 Golden Globes ceremony is still months away, yesterday Ricky Gervais posted something on his website that has us extremely excited for this year’s awards show. “I’ve had one of my big ideas,” he writes. “What do you think of this? A live 3 hour podcast during the Golden Globes. Me and a few chums (like Louis CK, Chris Rock, Karl Pilkington, John Stewart, Larry David popping in and out) doing our own alternative commentary. People at home can have the telly on with the sound down listening to us online say things that no broadcaster could get away with. No one could do a fucking thing. The biggest live webcast ever? Who knows? Who cares? What’s fun is the shit we might come out with. No money. No sponsor. No guidelines. Fuck me I can’t wait.” Neither can we. Poor Hollywood Foreign Press Association. How are they ever going to find a host who can compete with a comedian-filled and uncensored renegade podcast? [via Splitsider]

1. Despite its questionable portrayal of African American women, The Help topped the weekend box office, pulling in $20 million in its second week. Not quite so popular: All of the new films that hit theaters over the weekend, including Conan the Barbarian ($10 million), Fright Night ($8 million), and One Day ($5.1 million). [via THR]

2. Fans of An Idiot Abroad will be excited to see this preview of what Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant have planned for Karl Pilkington in the UK reality series’ second season.

3. People magazine paid $1.5 million for the exclusive photos from the Kim Kardashian wedding, but if you’re feeling curious about what went down at 6:37 PDT on Saturday night, find some video and “all of the romantic details” here.

4. Despite reports that Bono was treated for chest pains and heart palpitations last week in Monaco, his spokeswoman is denying that it was anything more than a routine checkup and says that he is “in good health and enjoying a family holiday in the south of France.” [via NME]

5. Lil Wayne has announced that he’ll release his long-awaited album Tha Carter IV online at midnight on August 29 — a few hours after he performs at the MTV Video Music Awards — and then later in stores that same day. [via THR]

Bonus Buzz: 25 Awesome Quotes From Comics On Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast

1. There are some troubling rumors that Amy and Rory (played by Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill) will be leaving Doctor Who at the end of the current season. More details (along with a few spoilers) here.

2. A slightly squashed down version of famous French architect Jean Nouvel’s hotly-debated MoMA tower has been approved, and construction on the project — which is 1,050 feet, 200 feet shorter than the original design — is expected to start soon. [via The Measure]

3. The lineup for this year’s New York Comedy Festival has been announced, and it includes big names like Louis C.K., Tracy Morgan, Sarah Silverman, Ricky Gervais, Bill Maher, Wanda Sykes, Russell Peters, Kathy Griffin, and Norm Macdonald. Schedule information and locations are still TBD, but mark your calendars for November 9 to 13. [via ArtsBeat]

4. Stay classy: According to The Sun, Amy Winehouse’s former husband Blake Fielder-Civil — who is currently serving a two-year prison sentence in Leeds for armed robbery and firearm offenses — is planning to write a tell-all book about his relationship with the singer. [via NME]

5. If the original cut of Drew Barrymore’s video for Best Coast left you wanting more Donald Glover, you can check out the 10-minute extended version of “Our Deal” here.

Bonus Buzz: 25 Reasons Your Childhood Self Hates You

We’re always on the lookout for cool pop-culture related visual art, so we can’t thank the good folks at Brain Pickings enough for drawing our attention to Israeli artist Noma Bar and his book Guess Who: The Many Faces of Noma Bar. This 2007 volume collects 50 of Bar’s minimalist vector portraits of iconic figures from the world of film, science, literature, politics, music, and more. We’ve picked out ten of our favorites from the book; check ‘em out after the jump.

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Good news for those of us who loved Ricky Gervais’s nasty Golden Globes jokes and watched The Office (UK!) and Extras religiously: The BBC has released a trailer for Life’s Too Short, Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s new comedy series, which will eventually air on HBO in the US. Described as a cross between The Office and Extras, Life’s Too Short is a faux documentary that stars Leprechaun leading man Warwick Davis as the head of a talent agency called Dwaves for Hire — which is basically a scam to get all the best jobs for himself. And, in true Gervais style, Davis’s character is described as “desperate, conniving, fame-hungry and self-centred, but always gets his comeuppance.” The one-minute trailer purposely doesn’t give us much to go on, but we’re excited about it anyway.

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1. Walter Breuning, who is officially recognized as the oldest man in the word, died yesterday in Montana of natural causes. At 114 years old, he lived through both the stock market crash of 1929 and the birth of the computer — and was around to see Halley’s Comet pass through twice! [via Gawker]

2. Interpol are planning to do a visual collaboration with director David Lynch during their performance tonight at Coachella. Their set will also feature the premiere of his short animation “I Touch A Red Button Man,” which will accompany their song “Lights.” [via NME]

3. This is your final weekend to check out Julie Taymor’s version of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark; after taking a brief hiatus, a slightly different take on the musical — think less Arachne, more Green Goblin, no Geek Chorus — is set to debut on May 12th. [via NYT]

4. Last night at one of his live stage shows in Toronto, Charlie Sheen decided to spice things up by revealing the identity of his first celebrity hookup: Jennifer Grey. Interesting, if not that all that surprising given their on-screen chemistry in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. [via Vulture]

5. In case you missed Ricky Gervais last night on The Daily Show, here’s the general gist of his interview with Jon Stewart: “This is what I think I should apologize for about the Golden Globes: fuck all!” Watch the full clip here.

Bonus clip: Spike Jonze Presents Lil Buck and Yo-Yo Ma