Even for those of us who have great relationships with our family, Thanksgiving can be a rough time. First, there’s travel to worry about. Hosting and cooking can be a royal pain. And there’s always some other kind of miscellaneous disaster to contend with on top of the usual stuff. We all handle holiday stress differently, but for those (like SNL favorite Guy Fieri) who prefer to turn to drink, we’ve devised a booze-tastic four-course Thanksgiving dinner. That’s right: Every one of these recipes has liquor in it. Cook up these seasonal delights, keep a few bottles of wine on the table — and a flask of something stronger in your pocket — and you’ll be blissfully passed out in front of the football game in no time. Just do us a favor and wait a few hours before you try to drive home, will you?

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Healthy eating can be hard, especially around the holidays. But we really care about you guys. That’s why we’ve put together this list of 10 Thanksgiving-related foods that you must be sure to avoid at all costs. Some of them we just find aesthetically unpleasing. Others we’re convinced might lead to instantaneous cardiac arrest upon consumption. Click through and peruse these banned foods at your own risk!

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So, your parents are vacationing in South Asia for all of November. Or your aunt has quit hosting Thanksgiving forever, after your little brother sampled liberally from her liquor cabinet and threw up all over her nice couch last year. Maybe you need a break from the annual family feast or simply don’t have the strength to do the holiday-travel thing twice in a month. Whatever the reason, you may just find yourself hosting your first Thanksgiving in less than a week and a half.

Are you panicking? Don’t. Common sense can often fail us when we’re trying to live up to our dad’s famous turkey recipe, impress the future in-laws, or otherwise perform unprecedented feats of hospitality in a minuscule amount of time. But as long you keep a few simple things in mind, we promise you’ll come through it just fine. After the jump, a comprehensive guide to popping your Thanksgiving cherry — or should that be cranberry? — without sacrificing your sanity.

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Today at Flavorpill, we watched a new Pixar Cars short. We reminisced about our favorite TV show openings. We liked the video for Lavender Diamond’s cover of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer.” We imagined what Twilight would have been like if Lewis Carroll had written it. We lusted after Joshua DeMonte’s architectural jewelry. We were glad that Paula Deen survived getting whacked with a flying ham. We started in on the Thanksgiving pie a little early. We imagined being conscious for 23 years while doctors thought we were in a coma the whole time. We wondered how many Nabisco 100 Calorie Packs it would take to power the Williams sisters through one game. And finally we found it funny that rich people love Glee. Guess that explains why we haven’t been watching…

Our friends at Babelgum are celebrating Turkey Day early this year with a hilarious clip that explains how the pilgrims celebrated the first Thanksgiving. These pint-sized history buffs don’t sugarcoat things: smallpox-covered blankets, whiskey, and the keys to a rusted out 25-year-old pick-up truck all make guest appearances in their true-to-life reenactment.

Our favorite line? “You can either die out or open a casino.” Oy.

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Records! And family and friends, of course. – Axel Anderson

My Technics headphones; peanut butter, hummus & jelly open-faced sandwiches (Shut up! They’re
fantastic!); DVR; Diet Coke; a rad boyfriend and an awesome (and supportive) family; Barack Obama; The Big Lebowski; NYC bars staying open past 2 a.m. – Leah Taylor

In no particular order: red velvet cake; the miracles of modern medicine; Google Maps; rain showers at midnight; second chances. Oh — and also I’m thankful for Russell Brand. – Shana Nys Dambrot

Bon Iver, The Shaky Hands, and The Blow; Pinkberry; McNally Jackson Books; Ariel by Sylvia Plath and I Was Told There’d Be Cake by Sloane Crosely… and lots of other corny things that I’ll just keep to myself. – Angelina Venezia

I’m thankful for Sacha Baron Cohen’s antics in Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa — totally rescued me from the abyss that is “family entertainment.” – Ashwin Sodhi

Lykke Li; AKA Potion Cafe and its open mic nights; Nelson’s Bicycle Shop; the School of Visual Arts and the model registry; William Esper Studio and Terry Knickerbocker; Gmail; the Northeast Kingdom; the Living Room and its awesome no-cover shows; Vamoose bus service. – Natalya Krimgold

Scrabble; cheap jukeboxes; Target Fridays at the MoMA; all Wes Anderson, early Judd Apatow and ’80s John Hughes; Ikea; Heroes, Chuck, Gossip Girl, 30 Rock and Life on Mars; George Saunders, Augusten Burroughs, David Sedaris, Lorrie Moore, Jonathan Lethem; Michael Cera; Y: The Last Man; the Beach Boys, Dolly Parton, Bruce Springsteen and various other oldies but goodies; emerging artists like Alyson Fox, Susie Ghahremani and Caroline Hwang; and all of you guys for reading us for the past month! – Caroline Stanley