We put on our Nancy Drew cap after reading this post on The Onion about the Army’s fat recruiting problem (they’ve had to reject 48,000 would-be recruits since 2005 for being over the weight limit) to find out what the requirements are in order to join up. As one of our friends said, it’s closer to a Weight Watchers chart than what we’d expect to see from the Army — so it seems they don’t really want you to be ALL you can be. Read More »

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Today at Flavorpill when we were supposed to be busy working… we checked out the Periodic Table of Awesoments courtesy of Dapperstache; we worried about what this guy’s creepy baby dream might reveal about him; we chuckled over the Onion‘s list of cheap toys for unloved kids; we experienced the weirdest cultural mash up ever as Andrew WK read an Ann Beattie story forVICE Magazine; we questioned the wisdom of the “sex chip”; we gawked at the crazy deals in some Depression-era Christmas ads; we enjoyed the very not-Broadway Dark Knight-inspired White Christmas rap and then got even more in the holiday spirit thanks to this funny video featuring Kenneth from 30 Rock; we compared graffiti on today’s trains versus what artists threw up 30 years ago; we couldn’t believe how much the new U2 album is going to cost us; we swayed along to Sufjan Steven’s version of “Good King Wenceslas” on the new Sounds Familyre compilation; and finally, we decided that the flag of equal marriage is best thing we’ve seen in a long time.

“What we do as a community, as a society, for each other, matters as much as what we do for ourselves. It sounds a little trite, but there’s a powerful amount of truth in that, I think.” – Malcolm Gladwell breaks down the “message” of his latest book, Outliers: The Story of Success, so now you don’t even have to read it. [A.V. Club]

In case you’re wondering, though, reviewers have found a much less optimistic “message” from Gladwell’s analysis of the main components of success. Salon‘s Louis Bayard argues: Outliers gives all of us hope. Except when it doesnt.

We should have realized the real answer to our post-Obama comedy question would come from the talented snark lords over at The Onion.

Luckily for our country, their mocking abilities know no limits. Be honest, you have a friend who could have been “interviewed” for this piece — or maybe you’re the one who is feeling a little blue.

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are