The Jersey Shore Trailer: We Watched It So You Didn’t Have To

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The new season of Jersey Shore is less than a month away, and today saw the release of a brand-new trailer. So, what’s new? Snooki’s pouf is looking larger than ever, The Situation has some trouble ordering food, a JWoww-Ronnie-Sammi love triangle heats up, and just about everyone on the cast drops a groan-worthy metaphor. You can watch the trailer after the jump, or just peruse our collection of money quotes and epic screengrabs.

Snooki: You’re the kryptonite to my fuckin’ tan.

Operator: What’s your name?The Situation: Situation.Operator: A name?

Snooki (knocking over a table full of tchotckes): I kind of miss the duck phone.

Ronnie (regarding his cheating): I’m gonna deny, deny, deny, and that’s it.

JWoww: Did you grow some balls all of a sudden?Sammi: I always had balls, honey.

Ronnie: It’s like puttin’ firecrackers in, like, a dumpster. One match and, poof!

No quote. Just JWoww.

Snooki: Ow, it hurts my vagina… No, I like it.