Choose Your Own Bret Easton Ellis-Style Adventure

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To celebrate the release of

, Bret Easton Ellis’ quarter-century revisiting of his nihilistic classic

, his publisher has launched a web game called “The Devil in You.” You play the part of an unnamed male Hollywood movie executive who resembles the book’s main character Clay only entirely. You’re in a casting session with a bubbly actress wearing a bad blonde wig, and as she reads her lines, you’re given options to encourage her, smack her around verbally (“Oh, you’re from the Midwest? Yeah, that’s obvious!” is our favorite), or ply her with copious amounts of cocaine or whiskey.

The point of the game being to destroy the soul of the young wanna-be starlet? Sure. It could also be to unleash the inner demon of the film director, or to just see how many times you can watch her snort drugs poorly. Alas, no matter how hard we tried we couldn’t get her to come back to our sleaze-bag director’s hotel room, and so far we’ve been unable to achieve a “Devil in You” ranking of higher than 14%. We’re really not that boring, we swear.