Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Websites

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For centuries, we have judged each other by the books we read. And in the past several decades, we’ve also put people in categories based on their favorite bands. But, in the Internet age, when most of us spend more time staring at Firefox than reading or listening to music, what better way to stereotype people than by teasing meaning out of their favorite website? With that in mind, we present yet another light-hearted list (featuring many websites that we, too, love very much) that will nonetheless piss you off if you take it too seriously.

Slate That guy at the party who’s always going, “Just to play the devil’s advocate for a second…”

Buzzfeed Viral Internet addicts who are too young to remember a time when “viral” was primarily a medical term

Gawker Editorial assistants who hate their bosses and want to write for Gawker

Jezebel Lady editorial assistants who can’t decide whether they miss Women’s Studies classes or think they were total bullshit

Salon People who pretend they want to read about lefty politics but actually want to read celebrity gossip

Huffington Post People who pretend they want to read about lefty politics but actually want to gawk at celebrity nip slips

McSweeney’s Nice hipsters

Vice Mean hipsters

Brooklyn Vegan Mean hipsters with a lot of frustrations to vent

nytimes.com People who are either killing or subsidizing print media. Take your pick.

Pitchfork People who see themselves as tastemakers but really prefer to have their tastes made for them

Stereogum Former Pitchfork fans looking for less talk, more rock

Gorilla vs. Bear Former Pitchfork fans looking for less rock, more chillwave

The New Yorker Highbrow types who believe long-form journalism really can thrive on the Internet, goddammit

Fark Your post-frat buddy who is always sending you some link you’ve already seen a million times

College Humor Your post-frat buddy who is secretly a big geek

Google Indecisive types, fanboys with “Don’t be evil” tattoos

Facebook People whose favorite band is The Beatles

MySpace People whose favorite band is Ke$ha

Twitter Media types who have yet to discover the magic of TweetDeck

Neatorama Adorable nerds who know they’re adorable

Boing Boing Nerds who would be adorable if they weren’t so obsessed with steampunk

Perez Hilton Tweens

Oh No They Didn’t Tween Gossip Girl fans who don’t understand copyright law

YouTube Tweens who have always wanted to call someone a “fag” but don’t have the guts to do it in person

Hulu TV fans who haven’t figured out torrents and/or think sitting through the commercials is “supporting the show”

Netflix That dude who’s always going, “Twelve dollars?! For a movie?! I could watch this at home for pennies!” in line in front of you at the movie theater box office

Fleshbot That dude in your office who’s always looking around to see if anyone can see his computer screen.

Vulture ADHD sufferers who love pop culture

Foursquare Schmoozers whose greatest goal is to be the first result when someone Googles their name

The Awl Jealous bloggers who are sick of writing SEO headlines

eBay People who would have been cokeheads in the ’80s

Etsy Girls who wear hats with cat ears, buy you unidentifiable presents

Flavorwire Alpha ladies; omega dudes