Schrödinger’s Celebrity: Our 10 Best Guesses at Who’s in the Box

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Are you ready for performance art, celeb tabloid culture, and the flash mob mentality to collide? Well, that’s exactly what’s set to happen in New York this Friday (and every Friday after, through August 13), when a mystery celebrity will sit in an eight foot-by-eight foot box in Bryant Park from 6:30 to 8:30 pm while lucky crowds (who have signed a nondisclosure form) watch. Bloggers and commenters alike are already taking their guesses. While we’re totally with Vulture on the please-not-David-Blaine front, we’ve got a few other hypotheses we imagine are at least as plausible. Who do you think it will be?

James Franco In the midst of his latest General Hospital stint and hawking his very own art in New York, no celebrity is more likely than this meta-star to engage in this kind of fame-fucked performance art.

Lady Gaga She loves New York, she’s super-weird, and she’s likely to have totally tricked out her, um, box. Whether it’s her or not, we’re betting the hopeful crowd will be about 50% Little Monster.

Marina Abramović Who loves sitting in one place for long periods of time while people wait in line to stare at her? This art star, who we believe can now fairly be called a celebrity after her recent high-profile MoMA retrospective. Perhaps not coincidentally, both Franco and Gaga have shown up to gawk at her.

The Old Spice Guy Because he’s popped up just about everywhere else in the past week or so. Why not keep the publicity train rolling?

Jay-Z and Beyoncé Hey, you didn’t expect to see them at Grizzly Bear last summer either, did you now?

Ke$ha If you fall asleep in a box in Midtown and wake up at 6:30 to start receiving visitors, chances are your name is Ke$ha.

Tyra Banks Her daily talk show may be off the air, but we’re fairly sure she’ll never get tired of disguising herself as a humble commoner and revealing the everyday injustices. Plus, pretending to be homeless is a great way to scout for new ANTM contestants!

Christian Bale This method actor could either be training for his next Machinist-style endurance test of a role or sequestering himself in hopes of heading off his next freakout. Are you professional?

Stephen Baldwin According to Baldwin, he’s really poor these days. For one thing, his home got foreclosed on. Maybe he actually lives in the box?

Rick Astley Because rickrolling will never die.