Jorge Luis Borges, The Book of Imaginary Beings : “If you don’t get this high-end T-shirt’s very subtle Borges reference, I probably don’t want to know you.”
William S. Burroughs, Naked Lunch : “I could go for some heroin and/or gay sex. How about you?”
Oscar Wilde: “I talk witty shit about you behind your back.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland : “I am a Manic Pixie Dream Girl with an eye for design.”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged : “Ron Paul ’12.”
Kurt Vonnegut: “I am a curmudgeon in training.”
Virginia Woolf: “Smart, whimsical, and self-dramatizing writer seeks same.”
Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita : “I’m either the creepiest guy you’ve ever met or a 14-year-old girl with no common sense.”
Jack Kerouac, On the Road : “Welcome to my quarter-life crisis.”
Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness : “I spent four years studying for a BA in Philosophy and all I got was this clever T-shirt.”