Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Chick Flick

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Eat Pray Love is one of those zeitgeisty books that seems to have actually created an army of readers in its image: educated, divorced, middle-aged women with a hankering to “find themselves” in Europe and Asia. In fact, fans have been so enthusiastic that they landed the book’s Balinese healer in the hospital. (Or maybe he’s just really old. You decide.) Now, as one of the summer’s most anticipated chick flicks, it promises to win even more converts. In fact, it occurs to us that lots of other popular lady films have spoken loudest to certain kinds of women with certain subconscious desires. And, with that in mind, it’s time to stereotype you by your favorite chick flick. (For the record, we thoroughly enjoyed The Devil Wears Prada.)

Sex and the City Midwestern career girls saving up to buy Manolos

Sex and the City 2 Culturally insensitive Midwestern career girls saving up to buy fake Manolos

Confessions of a Shopaholic Women who thought there were too few pretty dresses in SATC

A League of Their Own Third-wave feminists

Love Actually Women who get overly excited about poppy movie soundtracks

The Joy Luck Club White women who believe that all Asian women are quiet, strong, and wise

Titanic Dudes who didn’t realize Titanic was going to be a chick flick but aren’t going to front — they kinda teared up a little at the end

Waitress Hip, quirky, retro circle skirt-wearing ladies who will call you sexist if you even try to insinuate that Waitress was a chick flick

Sense and Sensibility People who prefer the term “period drama” to “chick flick”

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion Women who have regrets about/don’t remember their teen years

Thelma and Louise Women you might want to start worrying about

Beaches Gay men who have dressed up as Bette Midler… or at least fantasized about it

The Bridges of Madison County Women who think Clint Eastwood is “still really hot”

The First Wives Club Cougars who would not be comfortable calling themselves cougars

How Stella Got Her Groove Back Cougars who totally “own” the title

Steel Magnolias Rootless urban women who romanticize sturdy, earthy Southern gals and the loyalty they feel toward one another

Waiting to Exhale Women who identified with Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, God rest her soul

The Devil Wears Prada Women who feel for Andy now but will be Miranda in 20 years

The Twilight Saga Every tween girl in the world and the mother who secretly raids her DVD collection

Pretty Woman Women with a foggy understanding of sex work

Maid in Manhattan Women who aren’t bothered by retrograde class stereotypes and expectations

When Harry Met Sally Women who make a lot of noise in restaurants and the Billy Crystal-fan men who love them

Valley of the Dolls Women with a healthy appreciation for camp and their gay best friends

My Best Friend’s Wedding Women who secretly wish Julia Roberts could just marry the gay best friend, sexual orientation be damned

My Big Fat Greek Wedding People who like to remind you that it is an “indie film”

Gone with the Wind Women whose impossibly high romantic standards are, frankly, destroying their lives

Valentine’s Day Women who appreciate seasonally appropriate marketing

Bride Wars Masochistic always-the-bridesmaid types

Sleepless in Seattle Women who secretly hope to be proposed to live on The Today Show

Must Love Dogs Women whose pets will be part of their wedding party

Boys on the Side Hey, lesbians need chick flicks, too

Bridget Jones’ Diary Women who keep witty journals they secretly hope someone will read

Postcards from the Edge Former wild children who have moved to the suburbs

Dirty Dancing Girls who spend time pondering whether there’s a male term for “shiksa”

Chocolat Women who say, “I’m gonna be naughty” before reaching for a truffle

He’s Just Not That Into You That friend who’s always trying to give you relationship advice, despite the fact that you’re engaged and she called you crying last weekend about her fourth break-up of the year