This week at BuzzFeed, we learned what it is to be American: to believe in miracles, get hit by foul balls, and give people eating disorders. We met and shamed Mary Bale, cat-binner. Knocked Up made us laugh immaturely more than the first time and Big Money Rustlas confused, then delighted us. No one, however, was more delighted than these Filipino men watching the Miss Universe pageant. Our moods darkened at the news of The Situation’s financial…situation and the butchering of Christina Hendricks’ figure, so we we went out for a drink. It’s allowed on holidays. We were further scarred by Homer Simpson’s doppleganger (NSFW!) and the realization that Macaulay Culkin is 30. But this story ends on a happy note, friends, for we can present to you Prancing Cera, in all his effeminate glory. In the end, we are all a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a criminal, and a prancer.