Photo Essay: The 3rd Annual Coney Island Beard and Moustache Competition

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America might not be the most facial hair-friendly country in the world — surely that honor belongs to a Scandinavian nation, or perhaps good old face-freezing Russia — but on Saturday night, Coney Island was unquestionably the world capitol of facial foliage, thanks to the third annual Coney Island Beard and Moustache Competition. There were muttonchops, soul patches, and goatees galore! There were moustaches of all kinds — fake, cartoonish, braided, villainously pointed — not to mention the antics of the judges, consisting of a straight-razor barber, a cowboy, a sword swallower, and a bearded lady. It was a celebration of the bewhiskered and their supporters, all fueled by ample quantities of Coney Island lager. Check out the best and most bizarre moments from the competition, after the jump.

The curled and gelled moustache was a popular choice — in fact the styled moustache was the competition’s largest category. These entrants complemented their facial hair with full-on dandy garb.

This fabulous combination moustache/side mutton-chop work won the category for best styled moustache. His prize? a fez with the crest of the Beard and Moustache Competition.

This is perhaps the most nuanced and laborious of the facial hair entrants. Note that the “clown cheeks” and lips are, in fact, dyed hair. Also observe the amount of glitter. Bonus: this dude had the (terrifying!) Coney Island Lager clown emblem shaved into the back of his head.

Aside from the competitors, moustache enthusiasts abounded. This lovely couple are both sporting versions of the classic military moustache.

Is it a moustache? Is it a beard? Is it a…nose…beard? This contestant had the intrepid weave-attached-to-nose-hair approach, combined with unibrow and beaded beard. Insanely, he did not win.

Both of these ladies competed in the “Best Fake Moustache” tier of the competition. Both, alas, were knocked out in the final rounds–but the impressive beard-stache combination to the left is hand-knitted!

Danny Vomit, a host of the show and regular Coney Island carnival barker, sported a fine curled moustache himself.

A textbook Stalin moustache, and a finalist in the natural moustache section. This was his second year in the running — last year, he took home “best porn ‘stache.”

A truly magnificent natural beard specimen, and the winner of his category. Note a pointy-moustache over his shoulder. Double win.

The line-up of contestants for best styled moustache, ranging from the braided to the waxed-within-an-inch-of-its life.