Rumors have been swirling about it for months, but last week Coty, Inc. confirmed the news the world has been waiting for: Lady Gaga is coming out with a perfume. Actually, a whole line of them, the first fragrance hitting stores in Spring 2012. But what would that actually smell like? Surely Gaga, whose fashion generally falls into the bizarre, the angular, and the ill-advised, has a few olfactory tricks up her meaty sleeve. Lavender and Ylang Ylang with a hint of Eel Blood? New book smell with subtle notes of cinnamon? We guess which Eau de Gaga would match which of her most famous outfits, after the jump.
Outfit: The classic Kermit the Frog coat, complete with Kermit head that Gaga wore during an interview with a German television show Smells like: Your Southern grandmother’s overly-strong rose perfume, with hints of swamp water and fried chicken Possible Perfume Name: Amphibious Assault
Outfit: The Jetsons-inspired space orbit dress Gaga wore to the Grammys, complete with yellow hair and bizarre ball of spikes Smells Like: Cotton candy and aluminum, with undertones of new car smell Possible Perfume Name: Space Needled
Outfit: A coat made out of huge bubbles, worn during her Grammy Celebration Concert Tour Smells Like: Pine-sol, rotting fruit, and scratch-n-sniff grape Possible Perfume Name: Monster Clean
Outfit: The red lace dress/face-covering veil/hat combo that Gaga wore to the 2009 VMAs Smells Like: Rubber cement, Patchouli, and the inside of every Victoria’s Secret Possible Perfume Name: Opaque Face
Outfit: The yellow, patterned Marvin y Quetzal unitard Gaga wore in her “Paparazzi” video Smells Like: Clean sheets, Kool-Aid, and whiskey Possible Perfume Name: Nostalgic Oppression
Outfit: The red vinyl dress that Gaga wore when meeting Queen Elizabeth Smells Like: Hot apple pie, freshly-mowed grass, and old LPs Possible Perfume Name: Uncle