Word up, Idol-aters. In case you didn’t tune in to Wednesday night’s show (or read our recap), it was a pretty forgettable night in AIville. Highlights (both good and tragic) included Allison Iraheta’s version of Heart’s “Again,” Adam Lambert’s over-the-top “Satisfaction”, and future serial killer Norman Gentle’s (nay, Nick Mitchell’s) “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” from Dreamgirls. We thought we were dreaming too, girl.
Before we get to last night’s second results show, we’d like to comment on former AIer Phil Stacey’s LA Times blog (yeah, we don’t remember him from season 6 either). In it, he addresses the contestant’s poor song choices: “In the REAL music industry, the record label does NOT let you go out and perform songs that are not right for you. It does not matter how much you love it. If it isn’t going to sell you, they won’t put their money into it.” Yeah, right. Remember Britney Spears’ version of “I Love Rock and Roll”? Or Counting Crows’ “Big Yellow Taxi”? Or David Hasselhoff’s “Love Me Tender”? (We think Phil’s just peeved because Christian label Reunion Records nixed his plans for a country version of RuPaul’s “Call Me Starrbooty”.) We’re dying to get your feedback flavorful readers. What’s your least favorite cover song?
And read on for the juicy detes on last night’s show after the jump.
7:58: OK, just to reiterate our claim from yesterday: We think it’s going to be Allison Iraheta, Adam Lambert (though we’re none too thrilled about the prospect), and Kris Allen moving on to the final 12. Let’s find out.
8:00: “The foundation of this show has always been the power of the vote,” begins Ry-Guy Seacrest. That was totally what Elizabeth Cady Stanton said when she founded the women’s suffrage movement.
8:01: 25 million votes cast last night. Wow, there are a lot of losers out there with nothing better to do on a Wednesday night like me.
8:04: OK, so the whole group opens doing Ne-Yo’s “Closer”. The guys are really gross when they try to be all Marvin Gaye-style sexual/soulful.
8:06: AI Fashion Update: What is Jeanine Vailes wearing? It’s the same denim cut-offs from last night plus a plaid shirt and suspenders.
8:07: And apparently Nick Mitchell Cask of Amontillado-ed Norman Gentle because he is nowhere to be found tonight.
8:11: Boring re-cap of last night.
8:14: Definitely Iraheta, Allen, and Lambert. After the recap, I’m sure of it.
8:15: Seriously, Nick Mitchell is like a drag queen not in drag. It makes my heart hurt.
8:16: Matt Breitzke tells Simon “It’s never too late for advice.” Here’s some Matt: Don’t give up your welding career.
8:17: And we’re off! Ok, Allison is up for judgment first and I’m nervous because that usually means she’ll get the ax. Bad lurex-threaded top Jessie is joining her on stage. She’s definitely out.
8:18: Welder is up there with the two girls now.
8:19: Allison Iraheta advances! One for three! Guillotine drops on welder and lurex. Joyce Leslie executives weep over lost promotional opportunities.
8:21: She’s performing her song from last night again. Hair is doing something weird. Looks like a longer, red version of Carol Brady’s do. Girl can sing though!
8:25: Megan Corkey and Kris Allen are up. Uh-oh. I don’t think either will advance and then my predictions are shot to hell.
8:27: Kris is “really freakin’ nervous.” So are we Kris, so are we.
8:28: OK, jury is still out. Matt Girard and cut-off shorts Jeanine are joining Kris and Corkey on stage. Ry-Guy says one of these four will advance. Phew, there’s still a change of salvaging my record.
8:29: Cut-offs is out. Matt is out. Please let it be Kris!!
8:30: Simon accuses Kara of rambling. I think it’s some sort of judge hazing initiation. Ry-Guy cuts her off too. Poor Kara.
8:31: YESSSSSSSSS, it’s Kris. Two for three baby!
8:33: Re-sings “Man In The Mirror”. Still underwhelming, but I’m glad he advanced.
8:38: Horrible AI retrospective set to “What A Wonderful World”.
8:40: Brooke White from last season is back and on the piano. Tells contestants not to Google their names.
8:42: Performing her new single “Hold Up My Heart”. Yeah, don’t Google your name, Brooke. You might come across this: You stink.
8:44: God, when will it end? I actually kinda liked her last season, too.
8:49: Mishavonna, Kai, Nick, Adam, and Jasmine are all up on the chopping block together now.
8:50: Kai’s hair looks better tonight. It’s pulled back into some sort of chignon.
8:51: Mishavonna, Kai, and Jasmine are all oooooouuuuuuut. Nick/Norman G. and Adam are left. I feel a three for three coming on!
8:52: Is it wrong that I kind of want to see that Jonas Brothers 3-D movie? [Editor’s note: Yes.]
8:55: And, we’re back. I really prefer Norman Gentle to Nick. Adam advances. Knew it! Three for three!
8:56: Although, I really despise Adam.
8:57: Performing “Satisfaction” again. It’s so screechy. Really kind of wishing I was wrong now.
8:58: Ok, deets on the Wild Card: Apparently, the judges are bringing back a selection of people who “deserve” a second shot next week. They’ll then compete for the final slots on the top 12.
8:59: SUH-HO excited about next week: ‘Lil Rounds (sassy and soulful wife and mom from Memphis) will be performing. LOVE her. I’m predicting she’ll take it all. Check out her sort of creepy fansite: lilroundsfan.com.