Countdown to the Music Apocalypse: A Fable for Idiots Everywhere


Week Two. First the captain sped ahead without any sense of steering. Then when the pirates approached, he refused to turn around. When they tried to talk, he said he’d rather let them ransack. When they threw a life raft, he sucked out all the air. Now, wallowing in shark-infested waters, there’s nothing left to do but watch the dumbass drown. Very, very slowly.

For those keeping score at home, find out what went down this week after the jump.

– Sony Proposed a souped-up CD. Objectivity gloves off: your solution to physical media’s increasing irrelevance is a fancier CD? Seriously? You people are absolute idiots.

– Media outlets went after the Pirate Bay’s personal politics (but didn’t distinguish between their anti-immigration opining and the tangentially connected Nazi tenants).

– Congress smacked down every argument for the Ticketmaster/Livenation merger, but that surcharge-driven hell-dog just wouldn’t stay dead.

– Speaking of outdated dogs that won’t stay down, Oasis took home a “best band” honor at the NME awards, and Blur’s Damon Albarn and Graham Coxon jumped on stage for the first time in nine years.

– In an Orwellian overreach, Ireland’s copyright advocacy organization IRMA won a ban on sites that they think to questionable media. No way this could go wrong.

– The RIAA laid off 20 percent of its work force, and several labels announced that plans to reduce its funding. At least they still have Lars Ulrich…

– Glammed-up power rockers MGMT sued the President of France for using a song in online campaign ads. He responded by offering them a buck.

– Jonas Brothers released a feature-length film in 3-D. If that doesn’t usher in the apocalypse, what will?