In a piece of news that will have frat dudes and 11-year-old girls alike celebrating, Deadline reports that MTV is in the final stages of a deal that would revive Ashton Kutcher’s celeb humiliation series, Punk’d. Apparently, Kutcher is by now too mature to play host, and none other than Justin Bieber will take over those duties. Now, while we don’t have anything against J. Biebz, we do find him slightly bland, so he wouldn’t be our first choice to host this kind of show. In fact, we think these 10 fictional teens would all make better picks. Too bad they’re not, you know, real…
1. Ferris Bueller A schemer, a troublemaker, and a teen who’s already adept at narrating his own life, we imagine hosting Punk’d would be one of very few jobs Bueller would excel at.
2. Zack Morris TV’s version of Bueller, down to the fourth wall-defying narration.
3. Daria Morgendorffer She’s smart, she has a dark sense of humor, and given her appreciation for Sick, Sad World, it seems she knows a thing or two about trash TV.
4. Juno The movie version of Daria, only pregnant.
5. Jeff Spicoli Who better to devise stoner humor than a humorous stoner?
6. Clarissa Darling She’s always coming up with plans to foil her dastardly little brother, Ferguson. On Punk’d, she can use that ancient computer to put her ridiculous games into action.
7. Steve Sanders When only someone as sophomoric as Ashton Kutcher will do…
8. Blair Waldorf Imagine if the queen bee used her powers of scheming for humor, rather than social warfare.
9. Fez We can all agree he was always funnier than Kelso That ’70s Show, can’t we?
10. Steve Urkel Because who wouldn’t love to see these pranks end with our bespectacled host coyly asking the audience, “Did I do that?”