Dillon International Airport, Gate 4: Arriving: Lila Garrity’s long-forgotten siblings. In Season 2 they left to live with Lila’s mom and her vegan, hippy boyfriend. Now they return, liberal-er than thou, much to the chagrin of one Buddy Garrity. The boy even prefers soccer to football. Uh-oh.
Coach and Tami dine at the McCoy McMansion. Coach is not pleased. Mr. McCoy continues his creepiness.
Guess who wants to go to college? Tim Riggins. Guess who is trying to help? Billy Riggins; this does not bode well. Billy asks Jason Street for advice. Street suggests they put together a Riggins highlight reel. Meanwhile, they’ve finished restoring the old Garrity place. Next step: selling it. No one can agree on the price.
Jamarcus Hall, primed to replace the departed Smash Williams as FNL‘s token black character, has set a girl’s hair on fire. Principal Tami isn’t pleased. Even worse, Jamarcus never told his parents that he is a Panther! When Tami calls, the Halls are furious. They pull Jamarcus from the team.
Landry is in love. Devin has unwittingly seduced him with a solo piano version of the Flaming Lips’ early-90’s novelty hit, “Vaseline,” about a girl who puts lubricant on her toast instead of jelly. Smitten-ness ensues, leading to an awkward kiss in Landry’s car.
The reunited Garrities go camping. No one’s getting along. Buddy suggests a group sing-along, but the recently-teenaged Tabitha refuses. “You used to love to sing,” sighs Buddy. “Well I used to not have pubic hair either, but things change,” replies Tabitha. Buddy calls TMI; at least he’s learning the lingo…
J.D. is a little off in practice. Mr. McCoy seems to think he’s the coach; he yells at J.D. in front of the team, embarrassing his son. The real Coach smells trouble.
Garritties Go Camping! continues to go badly. Buddy is interrogated about his infidelities that led to the divorce. The kids hate him. This is one of those episodes in which we are expected to forget all the horrible things that he has done, and see him for the forsaken, well-intended if-flawed human being that he actually is. Annoying, isn’t it?
Landry tells Tyra he has a new girlfriend. Too bad he has yet to confirm with the young lady. Turns out that Devin’s the first freshman lesbian in Dillon High history. Poor Landry.
Coach and Principal visit Jamarcus’s parents, and convince them to let him stay on the team via an inspiring speech. Everyone’s forgotten about that silly “hair on fire” thing. Jamarcus remains unpunished.
The four amigos throw an open house. The boys are not the best realtors. No one makes an offer.
Landry is sad. He asks Principal Tami for advice. Tami, on a role, gives Landry the standard pep talk about how he’s smart, kind, and destined-for-success. One day all the girls will like him while the current football stars are pumping gas. Landry feels better about himself. He forgives his bass player for her sexual preferences. Crucifixtorious rocks on!
Jason Street meets a sports agent and decides that he himself wants to be a sports agent. Next stop New York City! Funny how this coincides with the actor who plays Street’s decision to leave the show… Oh yeah, they sell the house too. That was easy.
J.D. plays a pretty good game instead of a great one. The team still wins, but Mr. McCoy loses his cool. He berates J.D. once again. Poor kid. Coach tells Super-dad to back off.
Still in fatherland, the Garrities reconcile. They go out for ice cream.
Back at the newly-sold Garrity house, the gang watches the now-completed film, Tim Riggins goes to College. It turns out to be a tearjerker, with Billy Rig expressing his sibling pride amidst choked back tears. Billy’s a good brother after all. Everyone is moved. These men — facades like steel — are mush in their central organs.
We end on J. Street and Lila, the formerly affianced duo staring soft-eyed at the open Dillon sky. Street announces his forthcoming departure. Lila looks shattered; it is clear that she still loves him. It will be a tough world out there for Jason, but he’s ready. Lila sends him off with a sad smile. Jason Street, you will be missed.