Alien Sex, Salad Dressing, and the Afterlife Explained Through Flowcharts


You are no doubt familiar with the flowchart and its ability to convey information in a fun, Choose Your Own Adventure-way with plenty of room for humor. Author and stand-up comedian Doogie Horner takes things a step further with the tongue-in-cheek Everything Explained Through Flowcharts . In the book, Horner covers topics ranging from the afterlife to mafia nicknames, WWF finishing moves to salad dressing, all of which are laid out in a table contents in the form of, you guessed it, a flowchart.

Horner also provides introductions to each section in his hilariously witty deadpan. These aren’t just fluff — the section on heroes and villains (comically) necessitates a two page “key” for the eight pages of charts. He also doesn’t shy away from inserting “figures” to break up these longer explanatory sections, where he lists things like “Billionaire Pet Peeves” and “Deadly Fast Food and Its Equivalent Health Effects,” which compares Nathan’s fish and chips to coal mining. These eccentricities keep the pages turning and the information interesting.

At times Horner’s obsession with detail can be dizzying. For example: the web of connecting lines in the two-page thesis on alien sex. But even if an exhaustive, graphical look at extraterrestrial coitus isn’t your thing, you can admire the universal applicability of the flowchart and Horner’s commitment to it.

Check out a few of our favorite flowcharts featured in the book below. Click on each to view a larger image.

Evil Twins

How to Win an Argument (Parts 1 & 2)

The Secular Guide to the Afterlife

Courtesy of HarperCollins, from Everything Explained Through Flowcharts by Doogie Horner.