Jack White
Well-paying job -1 Mustache +3 Total score: 2
Jason Schwartzman
Well-paying job -1 Wes Anderson bonus +1 Ironic vintage sports T-shirt +3 Total score: 3
Image viaJarvis Cocker
Well-paying job -1 Beard +1 Child out of wedlock (divorced) +5 Total score: 5
Zach Galifianakis
Well-paying job -1 Illegal drugs +3 Beard and/or mustache with more than 2 inches of fluff + 5 Bonus: Ironic alpine sweater +2 Total score: 7
Russell Brand
Well-paying job -1 Beard +1 Illegal drugs +3 Tank top +5 Total score: 8
James Franco
Well-paying job -1 Reading in public +1 Bonus: Ironic General Hospital appearance +3 Bonus: Portraying Allen Ginsberg +3 Bonus: Publishing a book of short stories, opening an art show, and optioning The Adderall Diaries in the same year +5 Total score: 11