Jared Leto as Lestat Okay, bear with us here, because we’re trying to fix what was possibly the worst casting choice of all time. The sight of Tom Cruise in that platinum-blonde mop of a wig still makes us shudder. Sure, it’s not like Leto’s acting career has been on fire lately. But remember that, at one point in his multi-century journeys, Lestat was a rock star. We would like to see someone play him who wouldn’t be afraid to pump up the sexual ambiguity, slather on the guyliner, and actually look natural doing it. Plus, frankly, anything that would distract him from the awfulness that is 30 Seconds to Mars for a few months would be fine with us.
Andrew Garfield as Louis While we think Brad Pitt did the best he could with the role of Louis, he was clearly stunt-cast and looked like he was in drag the entire time. Garfield would be a much better pick. First of all, he’s got the necessary pallor. Secondly, he’s a great actor, which means he’ll do great with the moral crises of his newly turned vampire character.
Dakota Fanning as Claudia We always found Kirsten Dunst a bit shrill as baby-vamp Claudia. Fanning is more of an ice princess, and we wouldn’t mind seeing a bit more subtlety in that role. Besides, it’s not like she hasn’t played a vampire before…
Javier Bardem as Armand Antonio Banderas was okay as Armand, but this time we’d like to see our debauched vampire dramatist looking a bit more depraved and sadistic. As he demonstrated in No Country for Old Men, Bardem is up for the task — and we’d argue that he’s even sexier than Banderas, too. (Rice, meanwhile, would like to cast teenage actor Max Records in the part. Us? We liked the original decision to make the character older.)
Vincent Kartheiser as Daniel Molloy The interviewer is a tricky role, and Christian Slater was actually cast fairly well in it. But this time around, we’d like to see a more fresh-faced journalist, albeit one with some courage. Kartheiser fits the bill, bringing stiffness and enthusiasm in equal measure. We imagine there will be plenty of opportunities for an incredulous Molloy to work the Pete Campbell Bitch Face, too.