Saw Is Now The Most Lucrative Horror Franchise and It’s Seriously All Your Fault

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While you were out stalking Halloween party invite lists last weekend, SAW V (aka Really, Torture is Still Hot?) and its opening weekend box office helped make Saw the most lucrative horror franchise ever at a whopping (not chopping) $316 million.

Congrats people who enjoy watching other people attempt to bleed their way out of whatever freaktastic torture device the writers thought up this time.

Not far behind the Saw films are the FRIDAY THE 13TH films at $315 million, then the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET films at $307 million, the HALLOWEEN films at $275 million and finally your shaky-cam Halloween neighborhood home videos which … are … just … too … adorable.

With a Friday the 13th remake scheduled to hit theaters this winter, one imagines the dude with the hockey mask will once again slash his way back to the top.

But one question still remains: What is it about the Saw franchise that helped make it gonzo money in only five installments, versus, say, Friday the 13th’s eleven (if you count Freddy vs. Jason)? We take it the random dude in the mask that kills unsuspecting half-naked horny teenagers just doesn’t do it for you anymore? Should we blame the war? President Bush?

It would appear as if we’ve become a nation of people who like to watch other people suffer…and suffer… and then holy sh*t is that disgusting! Maybe it’s because we’re suffering too; losing our jobs, our houses, our piece of mind — and then our troubles, our arguments, our locked and loaded to-do lists invite our bored inner teenagers to raid the movie theaters for a little R-rated sadistic torture and a ten-dollar soda pop with a coupon for a free HANNAH MONTANA ringtone.

Perhaps our desire for constant random consumption has led us to a series of films that, essentially, mock the sick people we’ve become.

Then again, maybe it’s just a movie.

So whaddya think Saw VI will be about?

– Erik Davis

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