It’s that time of year again that’s exciting for children and drunks alike — St. Patrick’s Day! But before you take tomorrow off from work to funnel down copious amounts of green beer and don tacky beads, pause dear reader. If still want your job the morning after your daytime bender, instead of gulping beverage number six (err… or whatever your tipping point might be), opt for a Mickey D’s Shamrock Shake instead. (More on that later.) After the jump, some risky behavior warnings courtesy of the past 30 years of film and television. Because a walk of shame looking like Poison Ivy is never cool.
1. Superbad (2007)
The risk: You might cry and then punch the girl you’re trying to seduce in the eye.
2. Sex and the City (2000)
The risk: You might end up half-dressed and lip syncing to disco music in some Staten Island dive. And then you’ll tell all of your friends that you’re getting married. This year.
3. Beverly Hills, 90210 (1993)
The risk: You might not graduate.
4. Swingers (1996)
The risk: You might go nuts in a diner and embarrass yourself while wearing a wifebeater.
5. The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
The risk: You might think wearing a sparkly hat beret — far more dangerous than driving whilst intoxicated — is a good idea.
6. Sixteen Candles (1984)
The risk: You might disappoint grandpa.
7. Roseanne (1988)
The risk: You might remind someone of Aunt Jackie.