Whether or not JOHNNY CASH stand-in JOAQUIN PHOENIX goes through with his half-baked plan to become a real rocker, someone needs to take a stand against celeb vanity bands (KEANU and BILLY BOB were bad enough, but now CBS dinosaur BOB SCHIEFFER is getting in on the action!).
Of course their sons and daughters are another thing entirely; it turns out some of them are actually pretty awesome.
After the jump, we take an in-depth look at four budding Hollywood-baby bands — none of whom were on this horrible MTV show — including the daughter of a pet detective, a National Treasure’s evil offspring, a punk squawker with a history of violence, and the Sundance regular’s kid.
EYES OF NOCTUM In the brain-twisting action flick FACE/OFF, his criminal dad ended up the good guy (we think), but that hasn’t stopped WESTON CAGE from pretty consistently siding with Satan. As blast-beating goth-metal goes, Eyes of Noctum, ain’t half bad. We’ll hold on to our mugs for the time being, but we’re more than willing to swap CDs.
HENRY MORTENSEN At first we laughed them off as outsider art, but upon closer listen, HENRY MORTENSEN’s off-key acoustic-punk anthems are actually pretty entrancing. He shares his dad VIGGO’s rough-and-tumble delivery, but mother Exene Cervenka, of legendary LA punk band X, clearly taught him a few things while dad was out cruising the Misty Mountains.
THE JANE CARREY BAND JIM CARREY can get away with a few unhinged outbursts (REAAALLLY!?), but his daughter Jane’s over-emoting is a lot less likable. Ok, her alt-country croon isn’t the worst thing in the world, but riddle me this Pet Detectives: wouldn’t you rather be watching the Cable Guy do JEFFERSON AIRPLANE covers?
FIASCO It stands to reason that a militantly indie actor would raise a pretty credible kid, but we still didn’t expect STEVE BUSCEMI’S son to pop up on our Music Editor’s iTunes. Looks like young LUCIAN is cut from his dad’s cloth: on any given weekend, he’s kicking out uncompromising indie rock as one of NYC’s underground elite.
– Andrew Phillips