Today at Flavorpill, we decided it might be time to swear off pork (farewell sweet Bistro burger — we hardly knew ye…) for good. We prayed that a “cannonball of comedy” called Wet Dreams that’s inspired by Michael Phelps is not in our cinematic future. We wondered if a world with Craig’s List really needs a Free Napkin. We enjoyed this ad. We were scared of Alexis Rockman’s Montauk monster. We had no idea that Drew Barrymore has a reality show on VH1 — maybe that’s why their premiere ratings sucked. We laughed at Anthony Bourdain for dissing Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa cake and then abruptly vomited when we watched the clip from her show. We heard a collective geek gasp as word leaked that Natalie Portman is in talks to play Thor’s love interest in the upcoming film adaptation — more on that in the years to come. We read yet another reason why Alan Moore doesn’t think The Watchmen movie stood a chance. We poured over the TV death chart. We were amused by the Trent Reznor vs. Chris Cornell smackdown via Twitter. And finally, we were happy for Lily Allen. Sure she’s bratty, but no one deserves to be hounded by the paps.