What Will Keith Olbermann Do Next? Some Suggestions

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In the four days since Olbermann’s termination/resignation from MSNBC, we’ve been treated to a barrage of stories about what actually went down between Olbermann and the cable network. Since everyone is basically in the dark as to the actual specifics of the deal (even his friend Rachel Maddow claims she doesn’t know anything) the media has been left to their own, hysterical devices to speculate. As a result, many outlandish theories about Olbermann’s future career plans have already been thrown out there. After the jump, our five favorite post-MSNBC jobs for Keith Olbermann, courtesy of the media pool (and a few we made up).

Touchdown with Keith Olbermann

By now we’ve learned that any American media controversy worth reporting will immediately be translated into a strange and surreal Taiwanese cartoon. But the Taiwanese aren’t merely commenting on the situation this time; they’re making a profound suggestion: turn MSNBC into a 24-hour sports network. Olbermann will host Touchdown with Keith Olbermann, and Maddow can host her show while playing rugby. This will surely solve everything (although perhaps someone should tell the Taiwanese about ESPN. And ESPN2. And Versus. And Fox Sports).

Aaron Sokin’s Protegé

EW reports that Aaron Sorkin may have tapped Olbermann to write for his new HBO show about cable news, since apparently Sorkin spent some time on Olbermann’s set while he was penning the pilot. And, naturally, Sorkin’s “spending time on his set” means Olbermann will be one of the writers on the show. EW claims that Bradley Whitford could work as an Olbermann doppelganger, while we think our casting suggestion is more apt.

The Angriest Bird of All

While we’re on the writing train, why not give Olbermann a gig at the new Angry Birds TV show? He’s always super mad and a little orange. He also talks about the iPhone a lot.

Socialism Street

Some conservatives thought of this one, unsurprisingly. We’re a little hesitant about this idea, since “Count” isn’t exactly a viable career these days. Especially a Socialist Count. How would you make a living that way?

Keith Olbermann Network

Why shouldn’t Keith Olbermann start his own network entirely? His initials actually work quite well as a network name: KON (The Keith Olbermann Network). And we bet that William Shatner would be game to record some Star Trek-inspired promos for the right price.