LOL: Lambuel Saves the Internet


Every once in a while, you get an email that just, well, makes your day. Thanks to a coworker, our entire office had their days made, simultaneously. You see, we had all been given the gift of Lambuel. The creation of something called Objective Ministries, Lambuel is a playful lamb that teaches kids about the evils of coffee, and the glories of a heaven that includes dinosaurs and Lil Jon. Wait, what?

Now we’re hearing that this site is actually a spoof — an incredible hoax mocking some of the more, erm, stringent aspects of Christian fundamentalism. But! That doesn’t mean we can’t still share the glory of these incredible kid-drawn, Jesus-approved artworks. Below are a few of our favorites, with our interpretations. If you’ve got a caption of your own on one of these, drop it in the comments.

Crissy, who is 22 1/2 (really, Crissy? We stopped counting halves when we hit double-digits) thinks heaven = keg-stands, with help from a T-Rex. We’re just thrilled that Lil Jon is in fact saved. YEEAH!

Why is coffee evil, but Lil Jon, purveyor of Crunk Juice, is totally angelic?

We were trying to figure out what kids were finding so damn funny all over this site, and then we realized that they use LOL to stand for Love Our Lord.

Gay for Jesus? This is about where we started thinking that maybe this site was a fake… Too perfect, really.

We wish we could fall back on this explanation for everything we’ve ever failed at.

Note to self: turbans = evil. Mel Gibson = savior.

So… Jesus is weighing you down? Because you can’t go anywhere with the anchor out. Huh.

But, but… ninjas are silent and deadly mercenaries! Our minds are blown.