We Have a Winner! DFW Would Be Proud


We were getting seriously concerned that our very own Eli would end up winning this David Foster Wallace contest with his titillating take on the phrase we provided. Granted, after taking a stab at it ourselves and seeing how tough it was, we’re not really surprised that the word dorks of the world were a bit tentative. But! Finally, one scribe emerged from the web’s shadows, victorious. The winning submission, after the jump!

Way to go, Mr. Brian Whitton! He totally mastered the DFW sentence-growing technique.

Our original sentence:

Sascha enjoyed the movie. He liked the book more.


“Sacha enjoyed the movie – even though going to the movies brought immediately to the front of his mind the childhood memory of his parents ending their marriage during a screening of E.T. after a course of subtle, hate-filled glances at each other (i.e. his parents); so acute was the pain he felt after his parents divorce, that every theater Sacha found himself in during his later years could only resemble the same theater where his innocence (i.e. the blissful ignorance of childhood) was traded for an eerie, adult-like prescience concerning the human condition and relationships, an off-putting trait that has ironically left Sacha devoid of any meaningful relationships, which explained his natural attraction to the book that served as the source material for the movie (i.e. the movie that reminded him of his parent’s divorce), even though the publication he got his hands on was one of those released as a promotion with the movie (i.e. the movie based on the book) – the kind with key frames printed inconveniently in the middle of the text on glossy pages so as to keep the mainstream reader interested in the story – since the book served no purpose in conjuring up the old, bitter feelings of abandonment and regret that seeing a film that a theater would evoke.”

Look for an email from us, sir. We’ve got some awesome goodies from the Flavorwire library to share. Rock on, word dorks.