The Morning’s Top 5 Pop Culture Stories

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1. Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” debuted this morning. To be honest, we’re huge Gaga fans, but we’re a little bit underwhelmed. Maybe our expectations were too high? Listen to it here and decide for yourself.

2. In a speech to the UCLA baseball team yesterday, Charlie Sheen had the following advice: “Stay off the crack. Drink a chocolate milk.” We’re not even going to attempt a joke here because that would just be too damn easy. [TMZ]

3. Beyoncé will headline Glastonbury this summer. Book your flights now! [Vulture]

4. Here’s a weird one, film buffs: Ryan Gosling is set to star in a remake of the 1976 cult classic Logan’s Run. [Deadline]

5. Scarlett Johansson‘s people deny that she’s dating Sean Penn — which is actually kind of a shame, considering that this is one of the few May-December romances we could get behind. [Press Association]

Bonus link: Watch Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy sing a pro-abortion rights ukulele duet