Never returned that cup of sugar.
Operation of a dog-fighting ring.
Animal cruelty. Also cruelty to passerby.
Criminal mischief in the first degree; to wit, stealing of proper ladies’ undergarments.
General Don Draperism, clearly.
Publicly cavorting with a group of improper, if alluring, ladies.
Directing films of unsavory and indecent quality.
We have no idea what these two did, but we sure know who the ringleader was.
Public indecency. To wit, revealing himself to a young lady on the promenade.
Absurdly late library books.
Masquerading as a gentleman to gain entry into a government building.
Intentional blindness and public buffoonery.
Gold-digging. And subsequent murder when things weren’t happening quickly enough.
Public indecency. To wit, the hair.
Petty theft; cavorting with ruffians.
First degree murder.
Broke the Mayor’s window with a baseball.
Teaching banned books.
Grand larceny. Why, did you think there was something else?