The TV Character Baby Name Dictionary

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Last week, The Daily Beast counted down 12 hot new baby names inspired by celebrities and fictional characters, including Hillary (you know, the the Secretary of State) and Draco (as in Harry Potter’s Draco Malfoy). While we hope we don’t see too many baby Dracos out there, it’s true that lots of us were named not for saints or family members or even songs, but for beloved television characters. So what, exactly, are today’s parents thinking? Has there ever been a nice Blair on a TV show? A Bobby who isn’t hapless? For your pop culture naming pleasure, we reveal what your name means according to television stereotypes, after the jump.

Albert, Al

The leader of whatever gang he’s in, certainly no pushover. Possesses an absurd talent for obscure musical instruments or criminal activity.

According to: Deadwood, Fat Albert

Andy

Either an irresponsible stoner drop-out or a dedicated cop, probably with a drinking problem.

According to: Weeds, NYPD Blue, The Andy Griffith Show

Angela

A straight-laced, conservative stickler or an impetuous, confused emblem of the 1990s. Either way, a smart cookie.

According to: The Office, My So-Called Life

Anne

Sensible, practical, and occasionally bland — until she comes close to royalty.

According to: Arrested Development, The Tudors, Parks and Recreation

Barney

A goofy bachelor, prone to over-analyzing and hatching intricate schemes. Has a heart of gold, but hides it.

According to: How I Met Your Mother, The Andy Griffith Show

Bill

A serious, slightly lecherous family man with great ambitions.

According to: Big Love, True Blood

Blair

A slightly rebellious, fashionable, extremely spoiled queen bee. A loyal friend, but only to a select few.

According to: Gossip Girl, The Facts of Life

Bob, Bobby

A cheerful sponge, demonic possessor, or Elvis enthusiast with connections to the mob. Kind of a pushover in most cases.

According to: The Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy, Spongebob Squarepants, Twin Peaks

Brian, Bryan

The smartest kid in school, but he never gets the girl.

According to: My So-Called Life, Family Guy, Still Standing

Carrie

A fragile pioneer intellectual or a successful narcissistic writer.

According: Sex and the City, Little House on the Prairie

Charles, Charlie

An efficient, if reluctant, assistant or a reclusive, micro-managing millionaire.

According to: West Wing, Charlie’s Angels, The Tudors

Charlotte

Uptight, conservative, whip-smart, and prone to suffering from mysterious diseases.

According to: Sex and the City, Lost

Dale

A quirky, small-town guy with possible psychotic tendencies.

According to: Twin Peaks, King of the Hill

Diane, Diana

A bright, witty, strong lady with some serious secrets. Prone to really complicated relationships.

According to: Cheers, Wonder Woman, V

Dwight

Fiercely dedicated to his job but has difficulty in social situations.

According to: The Office, Memphis Beat

Elaine

Assertive, intelligent, and gifted, with a troubled love life.

According to: Seinfeld, Taxi

Emma

Keeps to herself and always looks great.

According to: The Avengers, Glee

George

A futuristic patriarch, timid daddy’s boy, or crotchety, slow-witted sidekick.

According to: Seinfeld, The Jetsons, Arrested Development

Gregory, Greg

A misanthropic genius or an extremely sweet older brother-type who prefers tight pants.

According to: House, M.D., The Brady Bunch

Jack

A leader, whether in fashion, medicine, terrorist-fighting, or microwave selling. Also has great hair.

According to: Will & Grace, 24, 30 Rock, Lost

Jerry

Clever, sneaky, funny, but irritating to the wrong people.

According to: Seinfeld, Tom and Jerry

Jim, Jimmy

The class clown. Better at his job than he wants to admit.

According: The Office, The Wire

Joey, Joe

Intuitive and good-looking, but a little dumb.

According to: Dragnet, Friends

Jordan

A scheming motivator or a sweet but dumb heartthrob.

According to: My So-Called Life, Dexter

Karen

A squeaky alcoholic with lots of money throw around; a masochistic romantic with great personal style.

According to: Will & Grace, Californication

Kenneth, Kenny

A hapless small-town boy who moves to the big city to pursue his dreams; a terrible storyteller who’s about ten years behind the times.

According to: 30 Rock, Eastbound and Down

Kevin

Childish, filled with wonder, and the best years of his life come before the age of 20.

According to: The Office, The Wonder Years

Lindsay

Pretty, but self-absorbed, has difficulty finding her place in life.

According to: Freaks and Geeks, Arrested Development

Liz, Lizzie

A lovable but awkward control freak whose friends constantly pull her into madcap adventures.

According to: 30 Rock, Lizzie Maguire

Logan

A preppy lady’s man with a soft spot for intelligent women.

According to: Veronica Mars, Gilmore Girls

Lucille

A wealthy housewife who goes on zany adventures, possibly has a plastic surgery addiction.

According to: I Love Lucy, Arrested Development

Margaret

Level-headed, strict, solid, and somewhat humorless.

According to: M*A*S*H, Becker

Michael

A doofy guy with good intentions but terrible execution.

According to: The Office, Arrested Development

Miranda

Sensible, intimidating, and cynical.

According to: Sex and the City, Grey’s Anatomy

Nate

A hunky, kind of stupid do-gooder with poor relationship skills.

According to: Six Feet Under, Gossip Girl

Phyllis

A spoiled, somewhat snobby, occasionally meek woman who marries well.

According to: The Office, The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Pam

A loyal assistant who has trouble fitting in.

According to: The Office, True Blood, The Cosby Show

Phoebe

A wild child who believes in the supernatural and has a hard family life.

According to: Friends, Charmed

Rachel

Stuck-up, and appearance-obsessed but extraordinarily talented.

According to: Friends, Glee

Rayanne

A rebellious free spirit prone to problems with substances and an unhappy childhood.

According to: My So-Called Life

Ross

A hopeless romantic with a difficult career path.

According to: Friends, Guiding Light

Sam

Awkward as a teenager, but grows up to be a lothario who enjoys running the show.

According to: The West Wing, Cheers, Freaks and Geeks

Sharon

A straight-laced traditionalist or an isolated bombshell.

According to: My So-Called Life, Battlestar Galactica

Sue, Susan

A power-hungry stickler with a hectic schedule and a troubled romantic past.

According to: Glee, Suddenly Susan

Sydney

A badass, globe-trotting loner with a lot of secrets.

According to: Relic Hunter, Alias

Ted

Buffoonish but sweet, has inner standards that rarely play out in real life.

According to: How I Met Your Mother, Father Ted, The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Tim

A big personality who loves to showboat but has a complicated home life.

According to: Friday Night Lights, Home Improvement

Tony

An unorthodox Italian-American with a lot of friends. Possibly a sociopath.

According to: The Sopranos, Taxi, Skins

Veronica

An outcast with a dry wit and an inquisitive nature.

According to: Veronica Mars

Walter

A brilliant scientist who uses his genius towards unsavory ends.

According to: Breaking Bad, Fringe

Will

A musically talented, optimistic neat freak.

According to: Will & Grace, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Glee

Zack, Zach

An introspective, scheming stud who loves mysteries.

According to: Saved by the Bell, Bones, The Vampire Diaries