Oh, Ricky Gervais, you scamp. Last month, you insulted all of Hollywood — and entertained all of America — with your scathing jokes at the Golden Globes. But, now that the Academy Awards are only a few days away, are you content to cede the spotlight? No, you are not. And we are thanking our lucky stars for that. Seriously, guys, Gervais has written an intro for James Franco and Anne Hathaway to deliver on Oscar night. It is pretty hilarious… and mostly about its author. Check out a few of our favorite excerpts after the jump, then visit Gervais’s blog to read the whole thing.
And Franco? Yeah, the ball is now in your court. Please, please come up with some sort of insane response, preferably in the form of an avant-garde art project where you re-shoot every single episode of the British Office, with you in the role of David Brent.
JF Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!
AH No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.
JF Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.
JF You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic.
JF Yes. He’d often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes.
AH And then vomit right?
JF No he left that bit out…
AH Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.