Rhetorical Questions Inspired by the Weekend Box Office

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1. Monsters vs. Aliens: $58.2 million If everyone is so into 3-D kiddie movies these days, then why didn’t we see bigger numbers for Neil Gaiman’s Coraline? Do people really love Reese Witherspoon’s voice that much?

2. The Haunting in Connecticut: $23 million A movie with a poster like this makes money like that? What kind of message is that sending America’s Reese Witherspoon-obsessed children? Dude, that’s so Lionsgate.

3. Knowing: $14.7 million Do people really find Nic Cage that relatable?

4. I Love You, Man: $12.6 million Are either of these guys even allowed to make a movie if Judd Apatow isn’t involved?

5. Duplicity: $7.5 million Why don’t you people like Julia Roberts as much as we do? You’re as bad as that bitch in Pretty Woman who wouldn’t let her shop.