Are You Too Fat to Qualify for Army Service?

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We put on our Nancy Drew cap after reading this post on The Onion about the Army’s fat recruiting problem (they’ve had to reject 48,000 would-be recruits since 2005 for being over the weight limit) to find out what the requirements are in order to join up. As one of our friends said, it’s closer to a Weight Watchers chart than what we’d expect to see from the Army — so it seems they don’t really want you to be ALL you can be.

Or maybe we just have a skewed idea of what’s a normal weight for a guy. So we decided to create a virtual model using the maximum numbers they gave for a 6-foot-tall male in his mid-20s — 203 pounds. That’s our borderline fatty hanging out in his undies below. One more Krispy Kreme glazed, and he can kiss that tour of Iraq goodbye.

Seriously?! No wonder they’re having to recruit the olds. We’re not even sure shrunken Seth Rogen would qualify. Maybe it’s time the US introduced a VAT on food, too.