‘Black Swan’ Gets the Sassy Gay Friend Treatment

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To what do we owe this embarrassment of sassy, gay riches? Last week, Sassy Gay Friend returned from hiatus with some choice words for Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. Now, he’s back with a much-needed contemporary intervention. Just think, what if Nina from Black Swan had managed to pick out a sharp-tongued queer buddy from the ranks of her ballet troupe?

Sassy Gay Friend barges in on a still-alive Nina in the hospital (“In heaven, Annette Bening wins the Oscar for The Kids Are All Right,” he growls) to remind her, “It’s ballet! Ballet! I’m gay, and I don’t even care!” Everything in this skit is perfect, down to Natalie Portman’s awkward laugh. Considering that Jack Ferver’s campy parody SWAN!!! opens tonight, we’re thinking Black Swan may go down in history as the new Mommie Dearest.