“We promise that after a few sessions on the Ab-Pro Torso-Reversing Twist Machine™, you’ll never look the same again. In fact, we guarantee it! Order today and make only 10 easy payments of $49.95! But wait, if you call in the next 15 minutes…”
One of those revolting new healthy eating posters they have on the subway? “If you eat junk food, you’re really eating actual shit. And it’s smiling at you.”
In a similar vein: “Go organic! Because somewhere an evil futuristic woman is injecting our corn with urine!”
Beware: the dangers of putting too much hash in the hash cookies.
This week saw the release of the latest phase in Sarah Palin’s preparation for her expected tilt at the presidency in 2012 -– a series of candid, un-retouched portraits of her at home in her Alaska kitchen…
“The new film from the director of Mona Lisa Smile…”
“Bathroom too small? Redesign and make better use of your space by talking to one of our decorators…” OK, no, we give up. This one really is unusable.