Even Their Talent Show Contestants are Cooler

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You know that show America’s Got Talent? It’s our least favorite thing about summer — and we live in a city with some serious sidewalk odors. We’ve never watched it because it LOOKS HORRIBLE. In fact, even the commercials make us feel downright unpatriotic. There’s a British version of the program that we’ve always found slightly less offensive in theory (maybe because of the comforting presence of Simon Cowell) and 47-year-old contestant Susan Boyle only confirms what we’d always assumed: Theirs is much, much better. She’s like Mrs. Doubtfire! But real! Dreams do come true!

Not buying it? Just compare this little biddy:

With this sassy grand dame:

You can watch an entire clip of Boyle’s performance here. Ladies and gentlemen, a star is born. Also: 40 bucks Kaitlyn Maher ends up here next season.