When we awoke this morning to the juicy news that Rod Blagojevich made a deal to star in NBC’s I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here (pending court approval), our first reaction was to wring our hands and think “What a strange world it is we live in.” Then we made a mental note to DVR it once the summer hits. Then we thought how funny it would be if that guy who plays him on SNL went on the show instead of him. And then finally we polled the Flavorpill office to find out who else they hope ends up on the island/jungle/whathaveyou with Blago. Find Leah Taylor’s brilliant top five (which is even more impressive when you consider that it was written before she’d cracked the day’s first Diet Coke) after the jump.
1. Perez Hilton — with no Internet access or hair dye! What will happen? How long will he last? TO WHAT LENGTHS WILL. HE. GO?
2. The trainers from The Biggest Loser — Yes, I do watch this show. And you know what? Jillian is a fucking bitch. And the guy is a weepy sack of shit. Without actual products to “place” (“OMG you guys! These Ziploc containers are SO CONVENIENT!”), I picture them resorting to “placing” random island items (“OMG, Perez! Check out these Coconut-brand coconuts! How great are these?”) for the sad show going on in their heads. [Editor’s note: Jillian. I love you. Don’t listen to the mean blogger lady.] 3. Ann Coulter and Megan McCain — I don’t know, there’s just something delicious about those possibilities. The tree-falling-in-the-woods riddle comes to mind, but here it’s more like pundit-blabbing-on-an-island… Plus, I have a feeling they might actually kill each other? Ratings!
4. Rachael Ray — Will she be rendered powerless sans her precious EVOO and her god damned designer puppy chow? God I hope so.
5. Russell Brand — He doesn’t deserve to be sent to the island with these fools, but I really just want to see him prance around in shorts, making naughty, catty remarks in that marvelous accent of his. Selfish, really. Oh well.