No, we’re not talking about downloading the Bikini Times Clock app (“If you like gorgeous babes in bikinis, this is the clock for you! Enjoy it on your table or desktop, or use it at night on your nightstand.”) — which incorporates way too much neon. And oddly includes a flashlight feature… After the jump we’ve got five less obvious ways you and your iPhone can bond over causing a little trouble. Because what else is a mobile phone good for?
1. You can teach it to swear. Because it doesn’t. (Except for See You Next Tuesday.) And you probably do. [via Wired]
2. You can turn it into a “massager.” Now we can’t stop thinking of that episode of Mad Men where Peggy tries out the “Electrosizer.” Ew. [via The iPhone App Preview]
3. You can use it to stalk NIN fans around the world. Come on. Trent Reznor is filthy. We bet there are certain NIN fans who haven’t showered since “Closer” was on heavy rotation on MTV. [Via Idolator]
4. You can sleep at work because of it. There’s an app that makes “productivity noises” meant to fool your co-workers. Flavorpill HQ is a loft space, so it wouldn’t really work for us, but if you’re one of those lucky cubicle dwellers, or even better, if you have an office with a door, it could do the trick. Bonus bad ass points if you pull a Costanza and get under your desk. [via Venture Beat]
5. You can Doodle Kids with it. This one just sounds like something that would land you on To Catch a Predator. It’s actually harmless — except for the fact that the app was made by a 9-year-old (!) in Singapore. Holy Dakota Fanning. [via Reuters]