For those of you who don’t live in New York, yesterday a low-flying Air Force jetliner circled the city and in the process scared the crap out of everyone. (There’s a really not exciting video of it here. Apologies for the narrator.) Gawker says that White House official Louis Caldera has taken responsibility and they also point out how much the reaction to the FAA’s weird photo op resembled “something out of an apocalyptic action movie.” We couldn’t agree more. So why stop there? After the jump we’re pitching Caldera five more cinematic ways he can shake up New Yorkers; you know, the kind of stuff that photographs well. Add your own ideas in the comments.
1. Hire a giant gorilla to climb the Empire State Building. Bonus points if he’s toting along a blond waif.
2. Sick a major storm caused by global warming on the city. When the flooding gets really bad, close down Grand Central and force everyone to seek refuge in the New York Public Library. Serve scotch.
3. Strike the Empire State Building with a really big laser. Warning: Not sure what kind of budget restraints you’re under, but you’ll also need spaceships and aliens for this one.
4. Tell everyone an asteroid called Orpheus is headed toward Earth. Blame the Soviets.
5. Four words: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.