On August 20, 1989, the pilot episode of Saved by the Bell ran on NBC. For the next five glorious years (obviously we’re not counting The New Class) we hit the books and, of course, the Max with Zack, Kelly, Jessie, Slater, Screech and Lisa, all under the protective eye of Mr. Belding. Twenty-two years after its first episode, the show is still a cult classic, a rarity in that even many of those who weren’t alive when it aired have opinions on it. And with a cast like this, built to have a little something for everyone, every fan, ironic or otherwise, definitely has a favorite character. The only question is, what does that choice say about you? We propose a few humble suggestions:
If low-grade schemer and general man-about-t0wn Zack is your favorite, you probably always want to be the center of attention, even though you’re totally average, albeit more than a little charming. If only you, like Zack, could call a Time Out and freeze the world, forcing everyone to listen to your opinions and your opinions alone.
If your favorite character is the squeaky clean, sweet-as-pie Kelly Kapowski, you’re probably either an ex-cheerleader or an ex-wannabe-cheerleader, who knows that it pays to be popular. Or you know, just your average dude. Average dudes love Kelly Kapowski.
If Slater is your favorite, you probably spend most of your time building up your sweet pecs. You rag on your friends for being too ‘preppy’ but still chill with them anyways, because, you know, whatever. Uh, where’s the weight room?
You’ve probably been president of every club you’ve ever been a part of. You also might be seriously into Ani DiFranco and Eve Ensler, because, what? This stuff is important, you guys! You may or may not have a drug problem, but if you do, you can rest assured that is the most respectable kind of drug problem there is. You just want to get into college.
Samuel “Screech” Powers
Even though you’re a little socially unacceptable, you’re still holding fast to the idea that girls dig power nerds who dress funny. Hey, is Bill Gates ever without a date? We didn’t think so.
If Lisa is your favorite, you know what’s what. That is, you know what everyone’s doing, what everyone’s wearing, and what everyone’s saying about what everyone’s doing and wearing. Plus, you know that the best job you’ll ever have will be being your rich parents’ daughter. You know what they say — knowledge is power.
You probably can’t wait to be a dorky middle-aged man.