A rare, handwritten note by the notoriously private author J.D. Salinger is currently up for auction on eBay; the 1989 missive, which is addressed to his maid, reads as follows: “Dear Mary — Please make sure all the errands are done before you go on vacation, as I do not want to be bothered with insignificant things. Thank you. J.D. Salinger.” What a prince, right? As Jen Carlson at Gothamist points out, an asking price of $50,000 means that the one sentence will have been written at a whopping rate of $2,083/word. If Mary is still alive today, we’re sure she’s absolutely thrilled by the news.